[GAME] Wish corruption

You do, but since Valve fans are angry, they take it away from you.

I wish all wishes would not be corrupted.

They're not, but you break the whole game.

I wish the game wasn't broken.

You do, but the fan cooling off the miniature singularity in the portal gun stops working...and promptly explodes.

I wish I were a capsuleer from EVE Online

You are, but you are blown up in a similar way to how a capsuleer would be.

I wish I discovered the cure to the common cold.

You do, but I steal it and claim credit for the discovery. You die angry and penniless.

I wish I didn't have to entertain three-year-olds all the time.

You don't. Instead, three-year-olds have to entertain you.

I wish that there is no such thing as postage and packing charges!

There are no longer in existence, but you have to pay the exact same rate for Shipping and Handling

I wish I could afford to do as I pleased

Congratulations, you are now Aleister Crowley. Have fun with your new, miserable life!

I wish people knew who Aleister Crowley was.

They do. Unfortunately they all now get him confused with the Harry Potter character of a similar name.

I wish I could do my education at home.

You can, but you find out that a self education isn't always a GOOD education

I wish I had eternal life and youth

You do, but it is stolen from you by a young adventurer

I wish Easter didn't mean that everyone's gone somewhere, leaving me alone on Skype and the forum.

It doesn't. However, our families and churches are now mad at us.

I wish KoN's previous wish had not happened.

It doesn't, but this, rather predictably, results in the game being broken yet again.

I wish it was un-broken!

It is unbroken. However, now every wish must be corrupted to sustain the game. Which you just lost.

I wish I had an Ion Cannon!

Granted. It requires ions refined from 1.5 times the amount of blood in your body...


I wish I had micro-singularity launchers

You do, but no power or fuel

I wish that whenever I reached into my pocket for money, I would always find the exact change for whatever my purchase

You do. However, every time you pay you also incur debt.

I wish I had Teddy Roosevelt's mustache.

You do, but a gangster sets fire to it.

I wish I had a supply of the magic potion from Asterix & Obelix.

You do, but Getafix decides to hunt you down for stealing it.

I wish DRJ would know how beautiful Cleopatra's nose is.

I do, but said nose falls off and must be hidden under the Sphinx.

I wish people would see what I did there.

They do, but the Sphinx also sees it and comes for you while you sleep

I wish I could create Shadow Clones of Myself

You can, but they turn on you and disembowel you.

I wish I was elected President of Nauru.

You are, but the citizens promptly remove you from office for being an outsider

I wish I had perfect luck

Granted, You now have Perfect Luck...hooking up with 97-year-old women.

I wish for all knowledge and the capability to handle it without a'sploding.

You have all knowledge....of foreign cheeses, that is.

I wish for a holographic version of the RPG.

The holograms turn out to work just as perfectly as the holodeck from TNG. Meaning it doesn't work properly at all and you keep having accidents in it.

I wish for.....a pen that never runs out of ink.

You get said pen, but you run out of ways to use it.

I wish I had a pen that never ran away from ink.

You do. You receive an ordinary pen in the mail.

I wish certain people didn't do certain depressing things and then post them all over certain sites trying to rub certain things in my face.

They do, but now other people do other depressing things and post them all over other sites trying to rub other things in your face.

I wish Amazon would sell Vorox at a reasonable price.

They do. Unfortunately, all other things are even more expensive.

I wish all the Bionicle sets from 2001-2009 were 12370845473874 times cheaper.

They are, but an obsessionist buys all Bionicle sets in the world and keeps them for himself.

I wish sleep was not necessary.

Granted, You now have fatal insomnia (It's real). Enjoy your last .45-1.7 years of life

I require more daka! Provide it!

You get more. BUT IT IS NOT ENOUGH.

I wish Kakamu didn't have fatal insomnia.

He doesn't, but now he has another fatal condition which unsurprisingly results in his death.

I wish I could stop sucking at WFC multiplayer.

Congrats you now are the top 1% of the gamers of the multiplayer.

Or you would be if you didn't cause any internet connection you try to use for the purpose to fail horribly and explode.


I wish the idiot who can't play the piano would get off the damn thing -,-'

He does, but he is replaced by another idiot who sucks even more but will never get off.

I wish I could make people LOL in libraries.

You do, but those people are embarrassed and avoid educational institutions.


I wish the image of Yon dancing to his new theme was not so funny.

It now disgusts you completely. Unfortunately it is all you can think about.

I wish I could understand perfectly anything anyone ever said, be it on the internet or in real life.

Yes. But since this is the internet, you are disturbed for the rest of your life.

I wish the internet was a bit more safe.

It is now the safetynet, and it becomes an unbearably boreing place to be.

I wish the net were normal from the pre-wish perspective.

I'm sorry. Aperture Science informs you that internet and normal cannot be used in the same sentence.

I wish I could hurry up and watch those films so I can go to the building with a man's name and a center in it.

You do but the building then catches fire.

I wish Addy would come back for longer than a few days for once.

He does come back. For a week. Then disappears again.

I wish DRJ would remember that Addy is probably on holiday break.

I do, but I also forget everything else.

I wish all the far-right extremists in Poland would vanish.

They do, but now Anarchist Extremists are running rampant all over the place.


I wish That klak had granted the wish and corrupted it instead of not granting it at all.

I do. But doing so unleashes an Eldritch abomination that eats far-left extremists.

I wish the eldritch abomination was gone along with the left-right paradigm.

It does, but now the paradigm is replaced with a "blue-orange paradigm", and nothing changes except the words used.

I wish Skype would acknowledge the existence of my new profile pic.

It does. Unfortunately, the Skype mods go mad upon seeing it.

I wish DRJ knew what a 'right wing extremist' really was.

It turns out I already knew that, thank you very much. So I end up knowing the same thing twice.....somehow. Your attempts to understand this result in your confinement to Arkham Asylum.

I wish I could break open Arkham Asylum and get away with it.

You do. But you now cause Arkham City. Here, the inmates run things.

I wish I was Batman and I could save DRJ from the madhouse he himself unleashed.