THIS IS ZOMBIELAND

Welcome to TIZ: This is Zombieland.
The story here is that we are ourselves, in our home towns.
Each player starts on their computer that they primarily post on the forum with.
And then you receive news that the one thing everyone fears happens.
This is Zombieland.

Rules are as follows, and may be amended in the future
1) Every player is default human, and in fact yourself.
2) You cannot do anything that is not considered HUMANLY POSSIBLE
3) Each person Starts with one or two melee weapons found around their initial domicile, no projectiles.
4) After 105 posts by the player, you may combine weapons in a convoluted way to make things fun.
5) Zombie types are from all continuities, and very area to area. For instance, in Miami, Fl you may have Nazi Commie Zombies, but in Clearwater, Fl you may have L4D style Zombies, 280 miles apart.
6) Area Zombie Type is determined by the first person to arrive in that area.
7) PLAYERS CAN BE CONVERTED INTO ZOMBIES. If such, and you are killed after words you will respawn at the entry of the most recent zone you entered, with only your base Melee Weapon.
Through the game, you may meet up with people you know IRL and have them join your merry gang of Zombie Killers.

Game Start:
*Ynot is sitting at his desktop at his desk job at Clearwater Bus Terminal Inc. when he reads through the tubes that what he has been waiting for has happened. Zombies are on the loose*

Ynot: Paul, it's go time. Gear up and get going, we are going to find Homeless.

Paul: *Flails arms* WAAAHAHAH~! AAAND THEIR WHALES!

*Ynot grabs the rusted Axe and shovel, Paul grabs the large steel beam used to bar the freight room door and broom*

Ynot: Okay, where do you think we should start looking for Homeless?

Paul: Uuuh...hell if I know. Let's try the Sweet Bay on McMullen Booth

*They head out*

*Klak is sitting, looking at his computer*

Me: All the COD training. Has prepared me. For this moment. Z-K, if you want to come with me, we shall go. I'M ON MY WAY TO SARGE'S HOUSE!

*grabs a broom stick, and sunglasses*

*walks out*

*Ynot and Paul climb into Cam. Cam is Ynot's trusty red Camaro, she has some minor mechanical issues, but nothing that Ynot's manual for the car doesn't address, and he has the tools to fix in the trunk*

Ynot: Alright, to Sweet Bay we go.

*Ynot backs out of the parking lot and hits the road*

Paul: So how are we going to find him once we get there?

Ynot: I know what his aura looks like, it's pretty easy to find. Peach with orange flecks, large radius.

Paul: You can SEE Auras?

Ynot: Yep, Ask Ferret about it next time we see her. She can contest such to be true. Orange with Silver Flecks, medium radius.

*About 5 minutes later, they pull into the parking lot of the Sweet Bay, and ask around if any one had seen Homeless.*

Random non Zombie: Homeless? He was banned from here about a week ago for theft.

Ynot: What'd he steal?

RNZ: Nothing, we just felt like banning him.

Ynot and Paul: =.=;

Ynot: Wonderful, where now?

Paul: Uuuugh, I don't know, why are you asking me this?

Ynot: Because, Bouncing off ideas is what you are here for.

Paul: Fiiiiiiiine, he's probably at the school, scaring freshman in the Anime club.

Ynot: TO THE SCHOOL!

*Ferret rolls out of bed and turns on the computer checking websites*

Ferret: Guh, stupid lag...what's that Cracked? The zompocalypse is go!? ...I have waited for this day.

*Pulls up plans on how to build a flamethrower, prints them out*

Ferret: Huh, I'm missing some supplies. Better go get those before things get too crazy, and my credit card stops working.

*Writes a note that reads as follows:*
Hey! Brother! Yeah, apparently the zombie apocalypse has started. So, I'm going to get the stuff together to build a flamethrower, maybe dig up some of my friends...call mom and or dad when you get up would ya? Also, defend the house, warn the neighbors, that sort of thing. I'm leaving the glock and stuff. Have fun <3
PS: Start work on boarding up the windows or I'm officially declaring myself the son and you the daughter of this family.
*The note is left, taped to the door of the microwave*

*Having taken care of this Ferret gets dressed in appropriate zombie fighting gear, throws junk out the Volskwagon bus, grabs a case of Mountain Dew, a case of bottled water, a bottle of vodka, and a whole bunch of granola bars and Pop Tarts, a claymore sword, and a shovel, as well as her pre-packed bag of junk...I mean supplies with a few last minute additions as well as various other odds and ends including a bicycle and a can of spray paint*

Ferret: Right. Let's do this.

*Ferret eyes the stick shift warily while she remembers how to work the contraption, pulling out of the driveway and into the street beyond, knocking over a trashcan*

Ferret: Hrm. Guess I should do something first.

*Before she drives off Ferret pulls out her bright pink cellphone and punches in a familiar number sending off a text.
Yo, Ynot! Zomzom time! Whassup with you?
With that taken care of she sticks a CD that was quickly burned this morning and cranks it with a crazy grin Ferret zooms down the road to gather her supplies while a zombie-themed soundtrack blares along with her*

*Sitting in his usual computing location ( AKA: his bed.) Srgt. Master finds out that zombies have invaded!

"Heh.... So history professor was right after all! Time to break out the clubs!"

* heading into his garage, he diggs around and pulls out a hand shovel and a 5-iron.*

"Hmmmm....go out and explore? Or sit in bed and wait for them to come...."

Fast-Forward 5 minutes: Srgt Master is now sitting on his bed again...windows of house boarded up with pieces of wood*

"And finally those slabs of junk worked for something.....ahh well, back to business!"

*signs in on BZPB and keeps half an eye on street*

*Before long, Ferret winds up at the Cumberland Farms ((it's basically just a gas station/convenience store))*

Ferret: Alright, I'mma want all the gas you have in this place! ...and your chocolate bars too come to think of it...and any lighter fluid of course. Don't worry I have a credit card!

Cashier dude: And why are you wanting all this ma'am?

Ferret: I am stocking up for hurricane season.

Cashier dude: But, that's months away.

Ferret: *squishes boobs together and smiles cutely* Oh, I'm getting it done early, that's all. Figure I'll beat the rush.

Cashier dude: Oh, okay.

*Ferret hums "The Zombie Song" while she loads up the hippie van with her purchases as well as a few other things that crossed her mind while she was in the store."

Ferret: Hm. Guess I should pick up extra batteries and stuff while I'm at it. Better take advantage of the time before the zombies hit here in full force.

*drives off*

*In my journey, I come across a gas station with a little store*

*it is now similar to a fortress*

Me: HEY GUYS! CAN I GET SOME SODA AND OTHER SUPPLIES?!

???: "Well, we do have twinkies, and root beer."

Me: Hmm. Good enough!

*the doors open, and I walk in*

*Ynot gets Ferrets text as he pull into Countryside High School, and taps up a reply
Yeah, I read about it on Cracked. At Cside looking 4 Homeless. Grendel here w/ me. No sign of the living dead yet, but heading into tight quarters, fully expect to find some. After find him, want to meet up?
With that taken care of, he enters the School endless hall, kids shuffling to and fro like nothing out of the ordinary*

Ynot: You would think SOME NERD here would have gotten the memo!

*A small cardboard box bumps into Paul's leg*

Paul: Huuuuuur? Ynot, I think we found Homeless.

Ynot: Huh?

*Turns to see the box*

Ynot: Oh, hey, Homeless, still hiding in your Box of Solitude?

*The box bobs up and down*

Ynot: Cat got your tongue?

*The box bobs again*

Ynot: Okaaaaay. Well, might as well see if Tobi and Platypus are here too. Homeless, know where either are?

*The box starts heading down the hallway, making it's way do the first door in E-Wing, Ynot opens it to find Tobi, Platypus, DevilzMoon, and Airsoft*

Ynot: Hey guys, you hear?

Devilzmoon: Ynot? What are you doing here? You graduated!

Ynot: So did you.

DM: Fair enough. So here to finally bomb the school then?

Ynot: No, I take it you don't know that the Zompocalpyse has started?

*Everyone whips out there phones except Airsoft*

Airsoft: Yeah, I knew.

Grendel: And you didn't tell any one?

Airsoft: You really want to question me, Grendel?

*Grendel whimpers*

Airsoft: Didn't think so.

Tobi: Okaaaay, well, I have class to get to...

Ynot: Really, Tobi? Zompocalypse starting, and you are more worried about School?

Tobi: No, it's just Meatball Sub day, and I have to kill time til lunch.

Ynot: True...Well, what you guys planning on doing?

DM: Well, I'm probably going to head home and arm up.

Platypus: I'm hanging with Tobi.

Airsoft: Might as well go with you guys.

*After Airsoft finishes, there is an electric wirr behind Ynot, whose still in the doorway, He turns to see a strapping older gentleman on a Segway*

Angelo: GRENDEL! I thought I kicked you out already!

Grendel: I GRADUATED YOU IDIOT!

Angelo: You actually Graduated? i didn't think you had it in you...Point being you aren't supposed to be here.

Ynot: Hey Angelo.

Angelo: Hey Ynot, excuse me while I escort this hooligan out o here. Might get me a Meatball sub after.

*Angelo grabs Paul's sleeve and escorts him out side*

Airsoft: Not going to chase him?

Ynot: In a minute, Homeless, what you going to do?

*The box tips open and Homeless jumps out and tries to bite Ynot, who promptly smacks him with a shovel to the face*

Ynot: Okay, Zombies confirmed.

*Ferret has by this point finished her shopping trip and is wrapping barbed wire over the top of the fence in her backyard*

Ferret: Keheheh! While an impenetrable fortress this isn't, it's not gonna be too easily overwhelmed!

*Finally she remembers she texted Ynot earlier, so in a quest for iced tea, she also digs out her cell phone, and answers the text.
Sure thing man, chilling at my house. Prep-work, you dig? Gotta make sure the cats 'n all are set before I go haring off. Cya soon.
Knocking back the rest of the glass she proceeds to continue making sure that everything is properly secured*

*Homeless gets back to his feet*

Homeless: What the Hell, man? I was joking!

Ynot: You pretend to be a zombie at the beginning of the real deal? And you DIDN'T expect me to hit you?

Homeless: Well..when you put it THAT way...

Ynot: You aren't on your meds, are you?

Homeless: Its the ZOMPOCALYPSE! Eff my meds.

Ynot: You will take one last douse so that you are sane until the undead start showing, or I demonstrate that I was not BSing when I said my dad put ejector seats in Cam.

Homeless: FINE! But I expect to have the best weapons around when it really starts.

*An electric wirr heralds Angelo's return*

Homeless: Oh, hey, Angelo.

Angelo: Hey kids. How's Tricks?

DM: (While looking at her phone) Zombies are on the loose.

Angelo: Zombies? Hah, what a imagination you guys have. This crazy kid just tried to bite me after I dropped your friend off out side. Grendel smashed his brains out...That reminds me of this time in *Grunt*Nam. We were *Grunt*ing through the For*Grunt* and we found th*Growl* gorill*grunt* that had NO ARMS! We were *Unintelligible* at the sight...man..I'm starting to feel...hungry...

Ynot: Tobi, you thinking what I'm thinking?

Tobi: Oh yeah.

Ynot: Airsoft, you armed?

Airsoft: They confiscated everything...except my knife.

Ynot: All yours.

Angelo: What are you ki*gurgle*alking about?

*Angelo's eyes loose their sheen as he looks at Homeless, lunging at him from his Segway, he has a knife between his eyes before he gets to far*

Ynot: Alright, Who here has a car?

*DM raises her hand, still surfing on her phone*

Ynot: How many can you fit?

DM: Tobi and Platypus.

Ynot: Good, I can get the rest in Cam. Meet up at Ferrets, she's creating a fortress. We can hang there until the Zombies are out in full force.

Airsoft: how do you know all that?

Ynot: We drilled this once a month. You forget, we are from the internet. The Internet takes Zombies VERY seriously.

*Ynot whips out his phone, texting Ferret
Found Homeless, Airsoft, Her royal @$$ness, Tobi and Platypus. Heading your way. Anything you need us to grab?
Pocketing his phone, he heads out to Cam, finding Grendel with a pile of bodies in front of him*

Grendel: *Points to the sky, legs spread wide* DAAAAAAAW!

Ynot: You are an idiot, you know that, right?

Grendel: No I'm not, I'M A GENIUS, MUTHER F#CKER!

Ynot: Whatever, let's go.

*They hop in Cam, Ynot turns his Zune on to Let the Bodies hit the floor as he speeds down the road*

*Ferret is chilling with some mint Oreo ice cream when she gets Ynot's text:
Bro, whatchoo doin' grabbing Moonie? Cannon fodder? 'Cuz if she tries to do her BS power-plays here she's zombie kibble. Grab more ice cream! Or fuel or anything else that'd be remotely useful really. ...first aid stuff for one.
She snaps her phone back and jumps up*

Ferret: Ahkay breaktime over! Time to go back over the perimeter before things get really crazy!

*As she goes over everything she's at the end of the street she lives on when a trio of zombies approach*

Ferret: Ah! The townhouses! The weak link! For they are populated by overly-anal old people!

*With a WHONG of the shovel she smashes the first zombies skull in, smashing the next ones legs out with the momentum, and bringing the handle through the face of the third. After a moment's struggle she pulls the handle out and caves the final zombies skull*

Ferret: I'd better warn the others. It's starting!

*Ynot stops for gas, then checks his phone, replying to Ferret
Alright, gassing up now, will fill the spare can i got in my trunk. Moonie going on ahead with Tobi and Platyus. Stopping by Walmart for groceries and weapons. Also, Moonie was in room, and she had a car. Angelo got Zomed, then dead.
Closing his phone, he fills his extra can and takes to the road again*

Ynot: Stopping by Hicks r Us, guys. Supplies are high on Ferrets list. Besides, free sh!t.

Homeless: We stealing a TV?

Ynot: Do you see room in this tiny @$$ car for a tv?

*Homeless sulks*

Airsoft: So what she asking for, bet its girly things.

Ynot: First aid kits, chainsaws, fuel, ice cream, knives, et c.

Airsoft: So girly things.

Homeless: The hell?

*Klak walks out, carrying potato chips, soda, some other supplies, and his broom stick*

Me: Excellent! Well, it's not a long walk from here to Sarge's house...

*sees a couple of Nazi Zombies down the corner*

Me: You guys are idiots! Why wear Nazi uniforms? You stand out!

*runs away*

Me: Alright. My remaining cash should go to supplies. I'll have to find someone with enough guns. More than my family. And that's a lot. Still, thank God for plot convenient bubbles.

*a couple of zombies see me, and begin walking slowly*

Me: Lol, first round much?

*smacks them in the head*

[ Bedfordshire, Shroom's house: ]

*Shroom sits at his computer, sipping from yet another can of cherry coke, and tries to make some room among the jumble of his computer desk to make room for it, so he can put it down*

Shroom: *Cracks knuckles*

*He decides to tune into facebook, thinking that maybe there will actually be interesting stuff on the site*

Shroom: ... Huh. Is this one of those adhack things?

*Shroom scrolls further down to see that nearly everyone is either calling out to their friends in fear, telling others not to go outside, or paying remembrance to one or more of their loved ones*

Shroom: *Takes a sip of cherry coke* ... Well, we planned for this...

*He writes a short message to Jack, saying that he's ready to picked up, and dashes upstairs*

*Moments pass, and he can be seen sliding back down, holding a dumbbell and what looks like a sharpened wooden African spear*

Shroom: *Calls upstairs* MOM!!!

Voice from upstairs: ... What is it?

Shroom: There's a Zombie apocalypse. Stay the heck inside, aight? I'm gonna go to Jack's. I'll be safer there.

Voice: ... Okay... Bring your coat!

Shroom: PFFF. *Slams door behind him*

*What Shroom sees is like something he would have thought up in a disturbed dream. Shambling corpses were making their way across the street, leaving patterns of crimson behind them, death was everywhere. Zombies everywhere."

*One Zombie sprints up to Shroom, screaming and flailing it's arms*

Shroom: NGH!!

*He starts by slashing the zombie at a distance with his spear, and quickly clears the distance between them while the zombie recovers from the blow*

*Shroom then swings the dumbbell towards the zombie's already mangled face. The monster's head is launched*

Shroom: *Breaths deeply* Count to ten...

*He doesn't have time to calm down. More zombies came from left and right, and he knew he needed to slay them*

*Cam pulls into an abandoned Walmart, about 1/2 hour from Ynot's work*

Ynot: Alright, boys grab what we need, kill anything slightly undead. Take NOTHING WE DON'T NEED, unless Ferret asked for it, then it would be wise...

Grendel: I'll get the Ice Cream...

Ynot: She likes Coffee and mint flavors. I'd prefer Rocky road, moose tracks, the like. Grab what you like. DO NOT TOUCH PISTACHIO.

Grendel: Why?

Ynot: You wont live to regret it.

Airsoft: Guess I'll get the knives and chainsaws, I'm strongest here...

Homeless: I'll get the first aid stuffs..

Ynot: Good, that leaves me to look for non perishable food stuffs.

*The group flanks through the warehouse department store, gathering their supplies, gathering at the front*

Ynot: Okay, Homeless, Grendel, ...Where is Airsoft?

*There is a loud smashing, like metal falling*

Homeless: My money is there

Ynot: Yeah, yeah, smart@$$.

[ Bedfordshire, My house: ]

*Wakes up, turns on laptop, and derps around the usual sites until I read the panicked messages on Facebook*

Me: Ugh... great. JUST what I need now. Hmm... knowing my friends, most of them will be still alive.

*At the same time as I say this, DtP runs past the house screaming, being chased by zombies and then mutilated*

Me: I said friends. Hmm, who to go to... Shroom? By now he'll have teamed up with others. G-K? No. JS? Sure. But I dunno where he lives, maybe his sister's home.

*Gets out mobile and calls JS's house number*

*A panicked JS's sister answers*

JS's sister: Yes, he's home, he's just about to go out with his chainsaw...

Me: Tell him to meet me with it in Russell Park ASAP.

*Hangs up and checks house*

*No-one home*

Me: That's weird... Well, off by myself then.

*Puts on school backpack filled with kitchen knives, and cycles off toward Russell Park*

*They scurry over to Airsoft's position, he's tripping over some tanks of air in the camping section*

Grendel: *Sarcastically claps* You're a moron.

Airsoft: Hey, I tripped!

Ynot: Actually, it's good you found these. Ferret will be wanting to build a flamethrower, so these will be good. Load up a few.

Homeless: But my scoliosis...

Ynot: Get over it, we have carts, so toss em in there. I need to grab one more thing...

----

*Ynot is in the freezer section, looking for something, most of the meats are gone, when he comes upon the last Spiral Cut, Honey Baked Ham*

Ynot: One left? SWEET!

*Ynot runs to it when he feels several impact tremors, he turns to see a massive tank charging him*

Ynot: NO! NOOOOO! YOU ARE NOT GETTING MY HAM!

*Ynot runs at the Tank, pulling out his axe, slides under the fat @$$, slamming the axe up*

Ynot: Come at me, bro!

*The Tank comically grabs it's crotch as Ynot twists around and climbs the lummoxes back, decapitating it*

Ynot: FIRST BLOOD!

*Grendel calls from across the store*

Grendel: LIES! DID YOU NOT SEE MY PILE!?!?!?!

Ynot: WELL I GOT A TANK!

*The entire store rustles as the hoard hears the shouting*

Ynot: Son of a #@$%&!

*Grabs the Ham and runs back to the car, zombies right on his tail*

*Klak finishes beating up the last nazi zombie*

Me: Phew. Alright, time to keep going!

*continues walking towards Sarge's house*

*more zombies pop up*

Me: I'd love to slay you guys, but I gotta go!

*runs from the zombie Nazis*

*Communist zombies peek from the bushes*

*Ferret runs around like a crazy Ferret-thing and chugs a can of Mountain Dew*

Ferret: Okay people! First wave! This is not a drill! Get on the rooftops, cover fire, then melee fighters run down and take out those that are only crippled! GO GO GO!

*After a barrage of bullets the first wave of zombies falls and Ferret as well as other 'volunteers' scramble down and start the grisly task of caving zombie heads and going after those at the bottom of the ladders. After far too much of this hilarity, Ferret collapses on her front door-step panting.*

Ferret: Well...that was my physical activity for the week. Of course it's not even close to being over yet.

*dragging herself to her feet despite really wanting to not move for the next few days Ferret walks around to check and make sure everyone went smoothly. She finds someone looking distraught*

Ferret: What happened here?

Friendly Neighbor: It-it's that one lady! Who always watched everyone's pets! I guess she just couldn't handle it, the poor dear, and jumped off the roof. The infected got her before anyone could help...

Ferret: Oh...that's...that's terrible. No sense letting her stuff go to waste though. I'll take her gun I guess.

*DOO DOO DOO! Ferret aquired the SHOT GUN! Isn't this neat? You can headshot zombies now at a distance! What fun!*

Uh, what the heck is this? I thought I at least oughta be informed that a new RPG is starting, what with being the whole head of RPGs and all.

*Cam peals around the corner of Ferret's neighborhood, running over corpses*

Ynot: I am going to need to modify this ol' girl to get through this...

*As if in protest, Cam backfires, spewing a cloud of black smoke in the air*

Grendel: We are so dead, aren't we?

Ynot: Maybe... Pass me that buzz saw and bat...

*In a minute, Ynot has cobbled together a quite contrived contraption [Link]*

Ynot: I call it the Ripper

Grendel: Where have I...

Ynot: No where, let's get Zombie Killing.

*As they pile out, arming themselves they get ready for Wave 2*

Ynot: Homeless, get the Ice Cream in the house before it melts, we got this one.

*He scurries inside with the food stuffs as the hoard rounds the corner and charges the trio*

*A flying ferret cuts into the undead flailing a sword around with much effectiveness lopping off zombie heads*

Ferret: Keheheh! HEY GUYS! What took ya? Anywayz, I saw Homeless and he said you guys needed help, and you do! It's a good thing these zombies are mostly half-rotted away and already soft. ...I guess the being dead thing helps too.

Ynot: I'm surprised they rotted this quickly. Even in Florida, flesh doesn't decay this fast. these guys have had to have been around longer than the internets say.

*Ynot carves into the hoard with his saw-on-a-stick, avoiding claws swipes from the left, hungry mouths to the right, and unseasonably warm Florida sun from above. Grendel is whacking them with large poles, slapping head after head onto the concrete*

Grendel: Um...Ynot...where the hell did Airsoft go? i don't like it when I can't see him.

*There is a burst of fire from atop Ferret's home, Zombie heads exploding immediately after*

Grendel: GOD SAVE US, HE'S ARMED!!!!

*Ynot pauses to check that it was in fact Airsoft, when a Zombie comes up behind to bite him, but is stopped by an SUV to the side*

DM: Heya, sorry we're late, Tobi wanted to stop and get some Twizzlers.

*the communist and Nazi zombies are chasing me*

Me: Just a bit closer!

*a run towards a gate, and jump over it*

*the zombies crash into the gate, and die*

Me: What is this I don't even....Never mind.

*Klak walks through the streets until he reaches a house*

Me: HEY SARGE! SARGE! IT'S ME! KLAK! IT HAPPENED!

*Looking at the action as Klak hopped the fence, he packs up his laptop, puts on his shoes, and walks down to the door*

*Opening the door just a crack, he smiles at his friend and asks*

"What happened, Shroom go insaner, 2012 being true, or zombies breaking out? Gimme a sec to get something fun for the last..."

*He breaks out his whole golfing set, and fills it up with various golf balls, he also tells the family that he's going out*

"Now then, where to? I was kinda bored, zombies can't seem to be able to climb the bushes and gates."

*sweatdrops as more zombies die at the mighty hands of the shrubs around his housing complex*

Ferret: Huh. Maybe. That or people who've been dead for awhile are crawling out of their graves. Hey DM.

*Ferret notices the zombies in the second wave aren't letting up."

Ferret: Um, guys? I hate to break up the party, but we really ought to be getting back to where my cover fire is. Just a thought.

*The zombies are just starting to come behind them, so with gusto Ferret starts hacking to reopen the way she came*

*The Group files in like mad men*

Ynot: Well, this is definitely an exciting way to spend an afternoon. Moonie, bring any firearms?

DM: Nah, Parents wouldn't buy me any. Got my CINTIQ, though.

*Group glares*

*looks at gates with a face*

Me: Rrrriiiiight. I know a gun store, but it'll take us a while to get there on foot. Do you know how we can acquire a ride?

*Looks at Klak, then to minivan, then Klak, back at minivan, looks down, then up, and has the keys for said minivan in his hand*

"Yeah, I think I might...."

*starts putting golf bag into the back*

Ferret: Of course. OKAY EVERYONE! BACK TO BACK! You won't get to regret it if you screw up!

*Throws Moon the shovel*

Ferret: Use that. Be careful not to get the blade caught in viscera or you'll be in trouble.

*Fighting for their lives they made it inside the zone of friendly cover fire*

*looks at minivan, looks back at Sarge*

Me: I could of sworn that wasn't there before. You drive?

*begins walking towards the minivan*

*Ynot rests, thanking DM for flattening the would-be Neck-Chomper*

Ynot: Alright. So we have a moderate amount of weaponry, supplies, hands, and vehicles. What's our next move? We going to find more food, craft better weapons, tinker with our cars, or just straight kill these buggers around here and hold out?

*Ynot sighs*

Ynot: Heh, I forgot, weren't we supposed to meet the rest of Muuffin in Dunedin today? Our luck sucks, we've been planning that for months.

Ferret: I was going to add a sort of blade on the van so I could go through zombie groups easier, but after that I should be good to go. ...anyone want to ride with me rather then the clown car?

Ynot: I figured you would try something like that.

Grendel: I got dibs on the Free Candy Van. I am tired of eating my knees.

Ynot: Anyway, we bring bearing gifts. Namely Air tanks for your flame thrower.

*Airsoft, Grendel and Ynot lug them out of Cam, with the other supplies that Homeless didn't bring*

Ynot: First Autozone I find, I'm fixing Cam's suspension so I can ride over the dang things a little easier. Probably clean out her liquids with a fresh supply, too. In the meantime, Airsoft, if you would.

*Airsoft pulls back a sheet in Cam's trunk, revealing Ynot's new toys*

Ynot: Can you have them mounted by the time Ferret gets her blade on?

Airsoft: Maybe a minute or two after. They are a bit heavy

*The final result of Ferret's work was a large triangular blade mounted on the front bumper of the van so that it would both cut and push zombies out of the way.*

Ferret: Alright, I'm riding with Skittles? We got cookies too! Nice blades on Little Red Ynot.

Ynot: Blades are just the cover. Wait til I push the Red Button. So how's about a ramming contest?

*Ynot's phone sounds off the metal Gear Codec signaling he has a text from KuribohMaster
Yo, Ynot, WTF, Where y u man? We're fighting zombies off like crazy.
We could use a lil help.
After reading he types up a reply
Hey, I'm up in Sft Hrbr with da Killing Crew.
Will c if n-e want 2 head down w/ me 2 c if we can help.
Also, u will need to provide your own ride once we clear 'em out.
Cam is full to the max, and the other vehicles don't got enough room for TonsOFun

Ynot: Hey, Ferret, remember that dude from HowlOScream two years ago? Him and his bro need help down in Seminole. Up for that ramming contest on 19?

"Yep I'll drive."

Pulling out into the street, Srgt. Master drives up to the housing complex's main gate, letting the next wave of zombies kill themselves on the gate before opening it. Looking at klak, he asks

"So, where is this gun store? I don't remember any gun stores in this state...and I'd rather not have to stop for directions..."

*Klak nods, and tells Sarge the directions*

((I haven't calculated them IRL yet ))

Me: They've got good supplies. Plus, they've been preparing for this. It's kind of on the other side of town. Got anyone you want to pick up first?

*After waiting for the reply that never happened, Ynot, Airsoft, Grendel and Tobi climb into Cam, and take off, slicing Zombie in their way*

Airsoft: So how far away does this guy live?

Ynot: Quite a ways away. But knowing him, he's probably in Lake Seminole park, the worst place he could be in that area.

Airsoft: And why are we saving him?

Ynot: Cause he owes me one. I take great measures to ensure all debts owed to me are paid.

Tobi: Wouldn't this make him owe you two?

Grendel: Yeah, Ynot's greedy like that.

*As Grendel says this, Ynot pulls on to US 19, and is met with a wall of Chargers and Smokers*

Ynot: Airsoft, Let's test out our Metal Rain.

Airsoft: Bout Effing time.

*He opens up the glove box to reveal a jet style joystick. Flipping a small black switch moves two panels on the fenders, allowing twin Gatling guns to extend and, with the press of the Red button, mow down the hoard ahead*

*the Volkswagon roars into life to follow beyond Ynot the blades dealing zombie death. Ferret calls Ynot*

Ferret: Yo, sorry man. I phased out for a bit there. I blame lack of sleep.

*Ynot has set up Cam with Handsfree calling*

Ynot: S'all good.

*They pull up to SR 580 at a red light*

Ynot: Let the carnage fest begin. Airsoft, holster the guns, this is a battle of the blades.

Airsoft: You are lucky this is your car, and you are driving.

Ynot: When you get your own, you can do what you want.

*The Light turns green and they speed off, hitting the Zombies on the road*

Me: Sarge, let's pick up GM and Genis. [The guy with the afro whose name shall not be said on BZPB] has probably joined with the zombies voluntarily, and Kenneth is probably at the gun shop as we speak. Any others will join us later. Now step on it, I have a date with a SCAR.

*Several Zombies go squish under Ferret's mighty wheels*

Ferret: Heh. I guess the Zombies just got.

*puts on sunglasses behind normal glasses*

Ferret: Wrecked

*A mysterious YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH rings out from the heavens*

*Ynot races Cam down 580, slicing Zoms in half, quarters and eighths, then turns on US 19 and heads to South County*

Ynot: Come on, Ferret, the Free Candy Van gotta have more juice than that!

Grendel: Um...Dude...

Ynot: What?

Grendel: IN FRONT OF YOU!

*Ynot looks forward to see a Tank about to toss Witches at Cam and the Free Candy Van*

Ynot: RULE FOUR!

*Everyone Buckles up as Ynot throws Cam into a slide*

Me:"Hmmm........Scar? I find she's a us- OOOOHHH That kinda of SCAR! Okay...although I'd rather something simpler...

*He drives over the remains of the last round of zombies, pulls onto the street, and proceeds to drive to GM's house*

Me: *as he drives* Want to know the easiest way to perform an autopsy?

*looks at Sarge questioningly*

Me: ....Sure...?

*Cam slides out from the Witches trajectory and into the Tank, knocking him on his back*

Ynot: Ugh...Roll call.

Grendel: Skittles

Airsoft: I ought to kill you

Tobi: Aye, matey!

Ynot: Injuries?

Airsoft: Still in condition to kill you.

Tobi: I'm good, even if I have no friends.

Grendel: Just your car, efftard, again.

Ynot: Good, time to kill Zombies.

*Ynot kicks out the windshield and pops the hatchback to let out the others, grabbing his axe, he looks towards the downed Tank, clearly not Re-dead yet, he holds his axe high*

Ynot: FOR THE TROLLZ!

*Airsoft, Grendel and Tobi surge forth and attack the Tank grabbing the metal bar and a katana*

Me: With a shotgun! *starts laughing manically as the minivan stops at GM's house*

We're here!

*Gets out of the Van, and cuts into the Nazi zombies with his katana-broomstick*

((I assume that, by now, we can go anywhere with the weapons?))

Me: Improve works, bro, remember that. *knocks on the door of GM's house* He better not be messing with the dead undead commie-nazi zombies.

Me: Improve....works? wha-? **Looks at zombies, pulls out golf club bag from trunk, and looks at the irons/drivers as the zombies get closer**

Hmmm.....I tend to chunk it with driver...and I'll take the 3-wood then!

*grabbing the club, he starts swinging at the zombies, first zombies's head getting cleanly knocked off from the swing*

*pausing, he pulls out sunglasses from his bag*
Me: It does seem like I may have.... *puts on sunglasses* sliced that swing.

*continues waiting for GM to open the door, keeping the zombies from the van*