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    BZComedy: Back by Popular Demand

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    Heat
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    BZComedy: Back by Popular Demand

    Post by Heat on Sun Jul 10, 2011 8:38 am

    By popular demand, I am going to repost BZComedy, my most successful BZPower comedy, here.

    BZComedy - Episode One - The First Episode, duh

    It was a typical day on the BZPower forums. And by typical, I mean nothing was happening, because no one was actually on the BZPower forums, they were sitting in front of their computers posting posts and topics.

    Suddenly, something began to happen. And by something, I mean that a huge black and grey robot had just appeared out of nowhere.

    "Wow. It seems that I, -Blackout- have physically entered the BZPower forums." the robot said and began to explore his new surroundings.

    Meanwhile, somebody was watching him on a very large viewscreen.

    "EXCELLENT. THE TEST SUBJECT HAS BEEN SUCCESSFULLY TRANSFERRED INTO THE VIRTUAL WORLD. PROCEED WITH THE FULL-SCALE TRANSFER." said that somebody.

    "THAT IS UNWISE. WE DO NOT KNOW WHETHER THE DEVICE IS CAPABLE OF TRANSFERRING THIS MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE." said someone else.

    "YOU ARE OUTSIDE YOUR FUNCTION, CYBER-LIEUTENANT. PROCEED WITH THE FULL-SCALE TRANSFER OR YOU WILL BE DELETED." said the first somebody.

    "AFFIRMATIVE, CYBER-LEADER." said the "Cyber-Lieutenant" and pushed several buttons. "THE DEVICE IS ACTIVE. MEMBER TRANSFER IS UNDERWAY."

    "EXCELLENT. NOTIFY ME WHEN THE TRANSFER IS COMPLETE." said the Cyber-Leader.

    "THE TRANSFER IS COMPLETE." said the Cyber-Lieutenant.

    "EXCELLENT. DEPLOY THE ARMY. TAKE OVER THE FORUMS." said the Cyber-Leader.

    Meanwhile, back at -Blackout-'s location.....

    -Blackout- was exploring his new surroundings. While he was doing that, something else happened. And by something else we mean that someone else had arrived. This someone else appeared to be a multi-coloured Toa Nuva (the 2003 version, of course) wearing a Kraahkan. For some strange plot-related reason, a subtitle which stated his name appeared directly in front of him.

    "Ynot? What are YOU doing here?" said -Blackout-.

    "Uh, I have no idea. What are YOU doing here?" said Ynot.

    "I have no idea." said -Blackout-.

    "Hm."

    Suddenly, the two heard footsteps behind them. Since they had no idea who was behind them, they immediately did the most sane and sensible thing and hid behind a giant air freshener that had appeared out of nowhere. For some reason, this actually worked, and whoever had been but isn't behind them anymore did not see them.

    "CYBER-UNITS 1137 AND 1138 HAVE ARRIVED AT THE "No "bionicles"" TOPIC IN BIONICLE STORYLINE & THEORIES. NO MEMBERS HAVE BEEN DETECTED." said one of the whoevers, who looked like a silver humanoid robot with handlebars on his head and the letter "C" on his chest.

    "NEGATIVE, 1137. I HAVE DETECTED MEMBERS IN THIS TOPIC. THEY APPEAR TO BE NEARBY. REAL NEARBY." said the other whoever, who looked exactly like the first whoever.

    "THX, 1138. NOW, WHERE COULD THEY BE?"

    "LET'S CHECK BEHIND THIS GIANT OUT-OF-PLACE AIR FRESHENER."

    "YES, UNIT 1138."

    Both Cybermen marched towards the air freshener.

    "Oops. They're coming this way." said -Blackout-.

    "Thank you for stating the obvious. Now, do we fight them, run, or otherwise deal with them?" said Ynot.

    "I say fight."

    "I say fight also. .....How do we fight these guys anyway?"

    "Okay, they look like Doctor Who villains, so there's gotta be a reset switch around here somewhere."

    Ynot looked around. "I see no reset switch. In fact, I see no switch of any kind."

    "Okay. We'll just have to fight them in a completely ridiculous way." said -Blackout-. He then pushed the air freshener they were hiding behind, causing it to fall and crush Unit 1137.

    "HOSTILE ELEMENTS WILL BE DELETED!" said Unit 1138, and began to fire his laser at -Blackout-.

    "Delete THIS!" shouted Ynot and hit Unit 1138 in the head with a briefcase he had somehow obtained in the last few seconds.

    Unit 1138, apparently unharmed, turned towards Ynot.

    "DELETE. DELETE. DELETE!" it said and began to fire his laser at Ynot, who somehow blocked the shots with the briefcase he had just used to hit 1138 in the head.

    Suddenly, 1138 stopped and turned around.....to see -Blackout-, who had a laser cannon sticking out of his chest.

    "I WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT THERE IS A LASER CANNON CURRENTLY STICKING OUT OF YOUR CHEST. YOU MAY WISH TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT." said the Cyberman.

    "Okay." -Blackout- said and fired said laser cannon. When the smoke cleared, the Cyberman was intact.....except for its head, which was now floating around in orbit. The laser cannon then disappeared into his chest.

    "Cool." Ynot said.

    "That was actually the first time I ever got to use that." said -Blackout-. "Now we should probably leave before more of these things appear."

    "IN THAT CASE YOU ARE TOO LATE."

    "Darn it."

    The two looked around.

    "Uh, we've got a problem."

    "Thank you for stating the obvious."

    "I ALSO THANK YOU FOR STATING THE OBVIOUS."

    "You're not part of this conversation."

    "I SEE."

    "May I point out that all your troops save you and another guy are defeated?" said -Blackout-.

    "NO YOU MOST CERTAINLY CAN NOT. WAIT.....ALMOST ALL MY TROOPS HAVE BEEN DEFEATED?"

    "Yes. Now if you'll excuse me, I always wanted to do this." -Blackout- said. He then grabbed both Cybermen and smashed them together. "Now, let's get out of here."

    "Okay." Ynot said and began to walk away.

    "No you imbecile, like this!" -Blackout- said and suddenly turned into a helicopter. "That's the advantage of having a Transformer avatar. Get in."

    Ynot climbed onboard.

    The helicopter then lifted off.

    NEXT TIME:

    More stuff happens! Yay!

    (Just in case anyone notices: Yes, I'm leaving out the word counts. They were necessary on BZP, but this isn't BZP.)


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    Re: BZComedy: Back by Popular Demand

    Post by Kon on Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:24 am

    Heeheehee, I laughed when it turned out that the Cybermen were behind your arrival.

    Anyways, are you going to repost all of it, and then start new episodes?


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    Re: BZComedy: Back by Popular Demand

    Post by Heat on Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:28 am

    King of Nynrah wrote:Heeheehee, I laughed when it turned out that the Cybermen were behind your arrival.

    Anyways, are you going to repost all of it, and then start new episodes?

    I'm gonna repost all of it, and then possibly start new episodes, but not before BZP comes back. Globin/iBrow will kill me otherwise.

    (You'll understand by the end of Season 1.)

    BZComedy - Episode 2 - The One with the Crash

    -Blackout-, still in helicopter mode, uh, flew, as helicopters are known to do from time to time.

    "Where are we going?" he asked.

    "You mean you don't KNOW?" Ynot shouted.

    "You're the one at the controls."

    "No, I'm the one sitting beside the controls while chewing bubblegum and repainting my briefcase."

    "So who's at the controls?"

    "There is no one at the controls."

    "Then how am I flying?"

    "Uh....."

    Just as Ynot said the immortal line "Uh.....", -Blackout- suddenly fell out of the sky, as helicopters are also known to do from time to time.

    "We have a problem." -Blackout- said.

    As -Blackout- finished his cliched line of "We have a problem", he suddenly crashed, as helicopters are known to do from time to time.

    As the narrator finished describing what just happened to -Blackout-, he suddenly stopped to wonder about what he was doing with his life, as narrators are known to do from time to time. After about 122 milliseconds of this, he stopped wondering, and decided that he would stop using the cliche "as (insert thing here) are known to do from time to time" for the remainder of this episode, as narrators are also known to do from time to time.

    Meanwhile, in the Cyber-Headquarters.....

    "IT APPEARS THAT THE TEST SUBJECT HAS CRASHLANDED IN GRID OOTDL." said Cyber-Unit 69135.

    "DISPATCH PLATOONS 41, 42 AND DOUGLAS ADAMS TO GRID OOTDL." said the Cyber-Leader.

    "I OBEY." said Unit 69135 and walked off.

    Back at the crash site.....

    "Uh, -Blackout-, could you transform? You're crushing me." said Ynot.

    "Sure." -Blackout- said and transformed back into robot mode. "Uh, where are we?"

    Ynot looked around. He couldn't see any buildings, or members, or topics, or anything. All he saw was incomplete lines of code and completely black ground. "Some sort of no place. A.....dead land."

    "Why, that's a terrible description!" shouted -Blackout-.

    "Okay. We're in an incomplete section of the forums that the Admins started work on but never finished." Ynot responded.

    "Thank you." said -Blackout-.

    Suddenly, the two heard footsteps.

    "Cybers!" shouted -Blackout-.

    Before they could do anything, they were surrounded by three platoons of Cybermen, who aimed their weapons at them.

    "YOU ARE ROGUE ELEMENTS. YOU WILL BE DELETED." said one of the Cybermen.

    "Delete THIS!" shouted Ynot and hit the Cyberman with his briefcase. Unlike last time, this worked, because he had reinforced his briefcase with titanium in the half an hour between the events of the first chapter and this one.

    "YOU ARE INFERIOR. MEMBER WILL BE REBORN AS CYBERMAN BUT YOU WILL PERISH UNDER MAXIMUM DELETION." said another Cyberman.

    "Oh poo." said Ynot.

    "Maximum deletion? That's not good." said -Blackout-.

    Suddenly, they heard more footsteps.

    "More Cybermen?"

    They then saw three figures standing on a cliff that had not been there before.

    "Attack and descend!" shouted one of them.

    "It's the other way around. First we descend, then we attack." said another.

    "Yeah, but "attack and descend" sounds cooler than "descend and attack"." said the first one.

    "But it's incorrect." said the third figure.

    "This isn't a good time to argue! Descend and attack the Cybermen!" shouted the first figure, who then jumped off the cliff, quickly followed by the other two. All three then landed in front of the Cybermen, who aimed their guns at the new arrivals.

    "STATE YOUR IDENTITY."

    "Okay, if you really wanna know. I'm Chibinuva Sonic Burst." said the first figure, and pointed to the second figure, who looked just like Ehlek. "That's MakutaKlak." He then pointed to the third figure, who looked like Lewa Mata. "And that's lewafan12."

    Dramatic music from Doctor Who suddenly started playing, and the Cybermen recoiled.

    "ATTACK!" shouted Chibinuva Sonic Burst.

    The Cybermen recoiled even more as the three new arrivals charged at them.

    "DELETE!"

    "DEATH!"

    "YOU ARE INFERIOR!"

    "BUT WE SURRENDER!"

    "MAXIMUM DELETION!"

    "WRECK AND RULE!"

    "MY USERNAME IS AWESOME!"

    "SCREW THIS, I'M GOING HOME!"

    "KLAK, ELECTRIFY!"

    *insert the sound that lightning makes here*

    *insert the sound of Cybermen screaming while being electrocuted here*

    "WE WIN!"

    "NEGATIVE. YOU ARE INFERIOR. YOU WILL BE DELETED."

    *insert sound of Cyberman being hit in the face with lewafan12's axe*

    "NOW WE WIN!"

    "Cool story bro!" said -Blackout-.

    "So, uh, who are you guys?" said Chibinuva Sonic Burst.

    "My name's -Blackout-." said, uh, -Blackout-.

    "Blackout?" said lewafan12.

    "No, it's -Blackout-. The hyphens are very important." said -Blackout-.

    "How do you even pronounce that? I mean, do you just say "hyphen Blackout hyphen"?" said MakutaKlak.

    "You just heard me pronouncing it. You know I DON'T pronounce it that way." said -Blackout-.

    "Yeah, but I asked again because the plot made me." said MakutaKlak.

    As MakutaKlak finished his line, a wall with the number 4 on it broke to pieces somewhere in the universe.

    "Are you finished wasting valuable plot yet?" said Ynot.

    At that moment, the wall with the number 4 on it, which had broken a line ago, broke once again.

    "No." answered -Blackout-.

    "Good. My name's Ynot. I like Burn Notice, as you may have noticed." said, uh, Ynot.

    "Burn Notice FTW!" said Chibinuva Sonic Burst, and high-fived Ynot.

    "Now that we're finished introducing ourselves, can we please get Out Of The Dead Land?" said -Blackout-.

    "Sure." said MakutaKlak, took out a remote control and pressed a button.

    Suddenly, the Mystery Machine pulled up.

    "You're not serious." said Ynot.

    The Mystery Machine's doors suddenly opened by themselves.

    "You ARE serious." said Ynot.

    "Now we just need a dog and we're all set." said lewafan12.

    "Your humour escapes me, Starscream." said Megatron, who had appeared for no reason.

    "Well I find it funny!" said Starscream, who had also appeared for no reason.

    "Let's get out of here. This place is beginning to creep me out." said Chibinuva Sonic Burst. He then got inside the Mystery Machine, quickly followed by everyone else.

    Suddenly, a headless, armless Cyberman got up and began to fire at the Mystery Machine.

    "Why am I sensing a The Pandorica Opens reference here?" said -Blackout-.

    "This is no time to be obvious!" said Ynot, and took a disposable camera out of his briefcase.

    "What are you going to do with THAT?" said MakutaKlak.

    "Watch." Ynot said. He then opened the camera up and reconnected some wires. "Smile!" he said to the Cyberman and pressed the button which normally caused the camera to Do Its Job and take a picture. However, this time, several wires flew out of the camera, connected to the Cyberman, and zapped him with electricity. The cyborg then fell over, but quickly got up once again.

    "I've got it!" said Chibinuva Sonic Burst, took a similar disposable camera out of his pocket, reconnected the same wires, and pressed the button/trigger, which caused wires to fly out of the camera, connect to the Cyberman and zap him with electricity. It then fell over again.

    "YOU ARE INFERIOR. YOU WILL BE DELETED." it said.

    "No." said Ynot, and hit the Cyberman with his briefcase.

    "YOU WILL BE DELE-bzisuakd....." said the Cyberman, and finally ceased functioning.

    The Mystery Machine then drove away.

    "Okay. Question time. Do you have ANY idea what's going on here?" said -Blackout-.

    "No." said Chibinuva Sonic Burst.

    "We were kinda hoping you knew." said lewafan12.

    "Hence our sudden appearance." said MakutaKlak.

    "That.....makes.....no.....sense." said Ynot.

    Suddenly, a giant tank with the letter C written on it in large font appeared out of nowhere, and aimed its gun at the Mystery Machine.

    "Oh poo." said Ynot.

    The tank fired, and the shot tore the Mystery Machine in half: one half containing CSB, Klak and lewafan12, and the other containing -Blackout- and Ynot.

    "WOAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" said pretty much everyone as CSB, Klak and lewafan12's half of the MM drove off a cliff, and -Blackout- and Ynot's half crashed into a wall.

    -Blackout- smashed his way out of the wreckage.

    "Ow." he said. He then added "Oh poo" upon noticing that they were surrounded by Cybermen.

    "What is it?" said Ynot from underneath.....something.

    "You don't wanna know."

    "DELETE. DELETE. DELETE!"

    "Is it Cybermen?"

    "I SAID you. Don't. Want. To know."

    TO BE CONTINUED.....

    NEXT TIME:

    A NEW CHARACTER APPEARS!


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    Re: BZComedy: Back by Popular Demand

    Post by Klak on Wed Jul 27, 2011 4:38 am

    This is just as funny as I remember it. Especially the "as (insert object) tend to do from time to time".


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    Re: BZComedy: Back by Popular Demand

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