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    Which BZPB characters should you fight?

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    Heat
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    Which BZPB characters should you fight?

    Post by Heat on Sun May 31, 2015 10:08 pm

    This may be updated with more characters in the future.

    Edward Allman: Please fight Edward Allman. Please. You will probably lose but he really deserves a kick in the teeth anyway.
    Sefer Yetzirah: She can probably use her psychic powers to make you punch yourself repeatedly instead, and you know she's obnoxious enough to do it while smirking. Just don't bother, okay?
    Lilith Heyerdahl: Who would ever want to fight Lilith?
    Veras: Why would you even consider this. Seriously, which part of "they can manipulate the fabric of reality" do you not understand.
    Yenot: I know this sounds like a better idea than Veras but it really isn't. Seriously, that man is good.
    Klak: He's not even that good a fighter and you know he'd try to fight fair. Just kick him in the nuts and walk away.
    Kakamu: Kakamu's just an ordinary guy who wants to protect his family. You could fight him but why would you want to?
    Dallas Dalton: A bunch of David Bowie fans will try to lynch you if you so much as come near him.  Don't bother.
    Kuromatsu: Okay, I admit I actually have no idea if you should fight him or not. He's Zev's main though, so probably not.
    Raigen: Seriously? He's a mercenary wolf. Best case scenario, he'll bite your nose off.
    Evander: He's a gryphon. It's probably illegal to fight him anyway and you'll have a whole bunch of animal-rights groups on your back.
    Azrael: OK, this doesn't sound like a good idea at first but you could actually pull this off. Just tell him his power is shadow clones and when he gets angry and charges at you, start whaling on him.
    Gabriel Ascheron: He hasn't got any powers, so you might actually have a chance against him assuming he didn't bring his sword. Do it. Fight Ascheron.
    Eva Ascheron: She once beat the crap out of her own dad. Eva is hardcore. Do not fight Eva.
    Malak Al-Maut: I know you think he really needs to get his arse kicked. I think he needs to get his arse kicked too. But his powers are even worse than Veras'. Just steer clear of him.
    Uterio di Armechio: On the one hand, he's a Rider. On the other hand, he's a politician. Give it a shot, but don't come crying if he beats the crap out of you.
    Figlio di Armechio: Don't fight Figlio. Just don't. Even if you can somehow win, his daddy will probably send an army after you. Don't do this to yourself.
    Caiaphus: do you really want to fight someone who introduced himself with "I am Chaos." is this really the hill you want to die on.
    Vance Vangelis: He's a dick. Fight him. You know you want to.
    Long Shortman: He's the Prime Minister of the Takemikazuchi Empire, there's no way he has the time to work out. Fight Long Shortman.
    Cassandra Thorne & Ophelia Valentine: I'm putting these two together because somehow I doubt either of them would let you fight the other one-on-one. Go ahead, if you really must. You could probably win but it would be pretty pointless.
    Coro: He's literally made out of metal. No.
    David Robert Jones: You could beat him easily, but why would you even try? He's just another old, slightly overweight politician and he'd much rather just sit down in his armchair and debate the finer points of federalism with you.
    Aster: She can shape-shift and she could probably make Gordon Ramsay cry with her swearing. Either way, your ego is not coming out of this intact.
    Richard: He's much nicer than Aster but he's still a shape-shifter. Please don't try.
    Silver Eachan: You won't get to fight Silver Eachan. No, he's much too canny for that. He'll just set a few traps for you and taunt you with that god damn smirk of his which can probably rival Sefer's. Don't try fighting Silver Eachan.
    Aria Nashton: In a one-on-one fight you would definitely win but it won't be a one-on-one fight. No, she'll just send a bunch of robots after you. This really isn't worth the effort.
    Serecio: If anyone in BZPB has a glass jaw, it's Serecio. Go for it. Fight Serecio.
    Fourteen: Great, another psychic. He'll probably just sing Justin Bieber songs in your head until you get sick of trying to fight him and run away.
    Mick Sruban: He's drunk like half the time. You could beat him easily. Fight Mick Sruban.
    Ashton Carney: Sure, he sounds like a tough merc, but he'll probably cry if he gets a bit of blood on his suit. It'd just be mean to fight him.
    Danger: HER NAME IS DANGER. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?
    Regina Faral: Don't bother, you can't win anyway and if you even try either Lalli Cain or Ashton will go all 'jealous ex' on your arse.


    Last edited by Heat on Mon Jun 01, 2015 9:10 am; edited 2 times in total


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    Yenot
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    Re: Which BZPB characters should you fight?

    Post by Yenot on Mon Jun 01, 2015 5:12 am

    I'm rolling mate. Like my ass is over there on the floor somewhere. I've lost track, that's how far I've laughed it off. A good call back and refresh of Things That BZPower Battlers Are Not Allowed To Do
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    Heat
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    Re: Which BZPB characters should you fight?

    Post by Heat on Mon Jun 01, 2015 5:25 am

    Thanks! I kept seeing this meme all over Tumblr and eventually thought "well, I've got to do this for BZPB, haven't I?"

    Added Regina Taral, by the way.


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    Klak
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    Re: Which BZPB characters should you fight?

    Post by Klak on Mon Jun 01, 2015 8:36 am

    Hahaha, this is great!


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