*Ordak's mask is rammed further into his face, and he stumbles back, grabbing it*
Ordak: Aghh... where do you keep coming from?!
*He clicks his fingers to gain the attention of the remaining Rahkshi nearby, and points at Barricade and Xintrix*
*The small crowd of Rahkshi charge into them, allowing him to run away*
*Starok's sword is blasted out of his grip, so he charges his fists with Shattering power and takes a swing at Brawl*
*Xikella observes her surroundings instead of going after OB, and sees SMK standing at the end of the room, doing nothing*
*She runs over to Kivalon, and examines his injuries. His armour is battered, and part of his mask missing*
Xikella: Brother, can you hear me?
*He gives a quiet moan, so she picks him up and backs up, smashing the lock on the door with her elbow*
Xikella: Buy us time, Kakamu, or so help me your gaseous form will be but condensation on the window of your enemy... and your enemy will be me. Ptha!
*She leaves the room*
<An asteroid field in the Linkit system>
*Not too far away from the barren planet Linkit, a sheet of asteroids of varying sizes float peacefully through the blackness of space, as they have done for a very long time. That peace has now been interrupted, however, by a silver escape pod smashing through them like a game of Breakout, its occupant clinging on for dear life*
*After some time, the escape pod collides with an asteroid larger than all the others, but instead of ricocheting off it, it sticks to like a magnet*
Kulnak: AAAAHHHH- huh?
*He kicks the escape pod's hatch open and pokes his head out, observing his surroundings*
*He crawls out onto the asteroid and starts to explore its surface. Using his own Kraata power of magnetism, he discovers that the asteroid is actually magnetic*
Kulnak: Very weird.
*After a few minutes of crawling across the asteroid, he discovers a crater with a large hole at the bottom, so he slides down it and jumps in*
*He lands on a metal surface, with his heavy feet making dents in the floor where he landed. He stands up and looks around him - to his surprise, he seems to be in some sort of communications center, with computers sat upon desks, plugged into the walls of the room. He walks over to one of the desks and picks up a small metal object with a keypad. He presses one of the keys, and the screen lights up with this symbol and the words "Enter password"*
*He puts the EyePhone safely in a gap in his armour, and jumps in shock upon hearing a cackling sound behind him*
???: Hehehahaheh... I knew we would meet again, my old apprentice...
*He turns around to face the source of the voice, and sees a wizened, grey-skinned figure approach him*
???: ...But I was not expecting you back so soon.
Kulnak: SHEEV? No... that's not possible! You're dead!
Sheev: So I would have had you believe. War is coming, Kulnak, and I intend to be on the winning side. Join me, Kulnak, and live up to the potential you always had... or face the true power of the Dark Side of the Force!
Kulnak: You're... pure sheevil! I'll never join you!
leaves him, and is replaced by a menacing grimace*
Sheev: So be it... AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAARHGHGHLGHLAHRLHLGHGL
*He activates his lightsaber and flies forward in a circular motion*
*A space taxi pulls into one of Atuar Sadiares' many docking bays, and Kranxx steps out*
Kranxx: Thank you, human!
Taxi driver: That'll be 4,424,986,605 credits please.
*He runs away*
Taxi driver: Hey, get back here!
*Kranxx makes it inside the corridor leading to the main complex, but trips over a leg that someone has stuck out from inside a crowd*
*The leg retracts, and Kek steps out to take its place*
Kek: Woah. Hey Lel, check it out! A real life quasimorph!
*Lel walks up to them, and puts both hands to his mouth in a shocked expression*
*The taxi driver enters the area, grabs Kranxx by the headtacles, and lifts him up*
Taxi driver: You owe me some money.
Lel: Ooh, ooh, we'll pay you for him!
Taxi driver: Wait, what? You know
Kek: Nah, but I've always wanted a pet quasimorph. Did you know that they can survive almost solely on flies and cheese?
Taxi driver: Listen buddy, I don't think you can pay off his debt.
Lel: How much?
Taxi driver: 4,424,986,605 credits.
*There is an awkward pause, after which Kek punches him in the face. Lel grabs Kranxx when the driver's grip is loosened, and the two Terugans run away with Kranxx in tow*
Yon, BONES, See-Man and Shrek cheered upon witnessing the arrival of new f***ing memes.
See-Man pointed at the new memes with his giant finger, smiling with glee. "SEE!" He shouted over the sound of Harkinian's D1NN3R blaster, the energy of which was already plowing its way into the bat's underbelly.
Yon also took the opportunity to lift up Jesse Ventura's minigun, spin it up and pump the front of the bat full of lead. "The Day of Dong is far from over!" The one-eyed wonder called across the vast underground cavern. Wiseau's bat shrieked in pain and began to withdraw from the battle to gain time to heal itself. "Don't let it get away!"
The bat flapped its bullet-shredded wings in an attempt to fly up through the ceiling, but it was futile. Instead, it turned around and began to crawl up the volcano behind it.
"What are you doing, batty? Haha, you're so batty, batty." Wiseau said lightheartedly, as if the deteriorating health of his pet monster was of no concern to him. Eventually, the bat reached the top of the volcano, teetering on the edge. It was at this time when an immense light from within the volcano began to shine through the cracks of the rock around it, pulsating with an ancient power.
"And what in God's name might that be?" Shrek asked his comrades.
Yon shook his head in bewilderment. Only once in his life had he seen a light like that, and they had called it the Keruvim. After gazing upon its beauty, he had tried to take it for himself, but he was defeated. Surely this can't be the same thing, he thought? The Keruvim was back in his galaxy the last time he checked, hundreds of light years away from Meme World.
The Terugan then heard a shuffling noise next to him, so he turned his head to see what it was. It was Tiny, brushing his way past the unconscious bodies of the rest of the Dongers, supporting himself with his bazooka.
"Tiny! You're from around here. Do you have any idea what that light is?" Yon asked the dwarf. Following his gaze, Tiny looked at base of the volcano, towards the light... and his eyes shone with excitement.
"wow mister..... are you serious? theres only 1 thing that light can be... the dedo..."
"The de... dedo... DEDOTATED WAM!!!"
Unable to contain his ecstasy, Tiny shot off towards the volcano, bazooka in hand. Tommy Wiseau looked back and saw the dwarf headed for a collision course, so he frowned and raised his hand.
"Stahp now, little man!" Tommy shouted, but Tiny was beyond caring about anything Wiseau had to say. He had to get to the dedotated wam before Wiseau... or his bat... did. Unfortunately, it seems that his opponent was thinking exactly the same but in reverse. The Mask-wearing man chuckled, hopped off his bat, and went straight into the volcano.
"NOOOOO!!" Tiny screamed, and lifted up his bazooka. If he was quick enough... maybe he could stop him before he reached the bottom. In epic slow-motion, he pulled the trigger and the barrel of the bazooka exploded outwards as the rocket was shot forth. It hit the volcano, tunneled through to its core... and with an almighty boom
, it exploded, and an ash-covered Wiseau was thrown out by the blast and onto the floor. The volcano crumbles, burying Tommy in rocks as he rolls down its side, and revealing the glorious Dedotated Wam in its true form inside the volcano. Tiny threw away his bazooka and leaped forward across the rocky floor, climbing over Tommy and grabbing the Wam in his own two hands. His eyes rolled back and a smile spread across his face as he finally achieved his one purpose in life. He was at peace.
However, what is left of Wiseau's bat was not. While Tiny was distracted, it crawled over the rocks, screeched, and shut its teeth over Tiny's head. He screamed and punched it in the eyes, causing it to open its mouth to roar in pain. Tiny backed away and held the Wam to his chest as he stared down the beast. He began to recite a poem.
"even tho i walk thru the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil, for u are with me; ur high-res graphics and superiore textures, they comfort me. u run minecraft at extra-fast speed and kill all zombie villagers. the wam will follow me all the days of my life, and i will dwell in my birch wood house forever in the basement next to my nether portel. amen"
He smiled as he knew what had to be done. The weapons of the Dongers were powerful, and had succeeded in delaying the beast long enough for him to get to the Wam. But killing it was another story. A story that Tiny was sure that he would type up on fanfiction.net in the afterlife... but as for now... his time here was ogre. The jaws of the beast opened up and shot towards him, and he welcomed them, holding the wam up and forcing it down its throat. Tiny was crunched in the bat's jaws, but it could not swallow him. It began to choke and panic as it gasped for air, but none came. It stumbled around, jumped up and down in desperation, but nothing would dislodge the Wam stuck in its throat. Something of Tiny must have survived, because the shadow of a hand could be seen inside the bat's throat still holding the Wam, stroking it gently as its light grew brighter. After a few moments of tearful suspense, it gave a thumbs-up, and the Wam exploded. The bat shrieked as it was blasted apart from within, sending chunks of meat raining down on the unconscious Dongers.
"No..." Yon whispered, and ran over to what was left of the bat. Sure enough, there was no trace of Tiny... but somehow, incredibly, the Wam was still there, and it was still intact.
"How the hell is this possible, lad?!" Shrek spluttered upon seeing the Wam in its true form. "Ah saw that thing explode like mah onionade soup!"
"It didn't explode," Yon said, "Tiny just released some of its energy, possibly with a touch. He sacrificed himself to save us from the bat."
BONES brushed some bat-skin off his suit, and shook his skeletal head. "Ah, that's a shame, but it's good to know that not all of the Wam was dedotated. Lord Zrintch would send me to hell if he knew that an incredible power source was here, and we missed the opportunity to bring it back."
"Of course... bring it back!" Yon smiled. "We can use it to power your ship!"
: Your ship sucks!
"Bad bait, mate." Shrek said.
BONES nodded. "Alright Yon, good idea. I'll take it back to the ship. After seeing what fleshy hands did to it, this might be more in my area of expertise."
He walked over towards the Wam, but felt the rocky ground rumbling beneath him halfway there. Suddenly, Tommy Wiseau burst out, the Mask still firmly on his face, and still looking very much alive.
"Where do you think you're going, mudderfugger?" He jeered. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you all!"
OOS: Dun dun duuun.