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    Divers Down

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    Zev the Reveler
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    Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Sat Jun 16, 2012 3:14 pm

    Pridak
    Scary Monster

    I am a leader, but leaders are meant to be something greater than whatever it is I have become. An aberration of the deep; no longer an idol of awe and respect, now diminished to a figment of nightmares to frighten Matoran. Though my blades may tear to shreds anyone or anything that opposes me, though I can rend the lives of all foes on my fangs, all I want is to be an object of worship once again. Yet it will only be with my fellow Barakki that it is done. Even should I have to drag those traitorous swine to glory, kicking and screaming and gnashing their fangs, I will become a king once more; and so help me, they're becoming kings again, as well.

    ~ ~ ~

    Chap. 1, End


    Last edited by And Hello! Zev on Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:01 am; edited 1 time in total
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    Klak
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Klak on Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:01 am

    I'm surprised you have not continued this, either here or on BZPower. Interesting premise, and you bring back a beloved Bionicle character. Great use of emotions and metaphors. Short, but a good start.


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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:33 am

    Thank you, Klak!!!

    I corrected some mistakes, the most glaring of which being that Pridak is their leader, not Ehlek. U~U

    On to the second installation!!

    ~ ~ ~

    Kalmah
    Stranglehold

    There are some who say that he who fights monsters must be wary of becoming a monster. I've fought and killed more than my share of monsters and villains, so I suppose it's only appropriate that I am now a mockery of my previous form. Do you have any idea how it feels, to wake up every day and go to sleep every night in a watery mass grave of the forgotten, with no possible way to attain the glory you once had? Can you even conceive of how my pride as a warrior and as a conqueror has been dashed upon the rocks of humiliation? Have you any way to fathom the choking despair that has returned with ever-growing frequency all these millenia? No, I suppose you don't. No matter. I am now merely a footnote in history, if even that. But there shall come a day when we shall rise again...And you all shall know it by the drumbeats of pandemonium, that being the march of our armies reborn. Sleep well, land of the living. Sleep well, and sleep heavy.

    ~ ~ ~

    Chap. 2, End
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Klak on Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:36 am

    So the whole premise of this is basically reviewing what each of the Barakki think of their exile to the Pit and mutation?

    Nicely done!


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    Zev the Reveler
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Sun Jun 17, 2012 9:53 am

    We shall see. UuU

    Thanks for the review! I try. ^u^

    ~ ~ ~

    Carapar
    Beast Of Burden

    My name's Carapar. I'm not the smartest, but I'm strong enough that you'd better think twice about giving me grief over it. I'm strong; I'm the Barakki that moves mountains and digs canyons. I'm the doorman, because when there's no way in or out, I just make a door. I can get by just about any menace with my strength. But sometimes, there's a guy I can't beat up, or a problem I can't solve. That actually happens a lot more than it used to. So when I can't get by with just my strength, I go to Ehlek. Ehlek's really smart, even if he's a jerk sometimes. Whenever I can't figure something out, I go to Ehlek. Ehlek will always know what I need to do.

    ~ ~ ~

    Chap. 3, End
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Srgt. Master on Sun Jun 17, 2012 4:22 pm

    Interesting. I find the shortness (usually a minus) a key component in keeping me interested with what's happening. (even if my bionicle knowledge is none-existent xxxx / )
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    Zev the Reveler
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Mon Jun 18, 2012 12:55 pm

    Thank you very much, Sarge.

    Let us move onto the next chapter~

    ~ ~ ~

    Ehlek
    Focus

    Oh, I'm sure you know which one I am. I'm the brains of the outfit, hm? The one who can barely stand up to the others in strength yet outstrips them in intelligence? Well let me just be upfront and frank; I could snap a Matoran's neck with the graceful ease of painting a picture. I don't have the logic-defying strength of that oaf Carapar, but it would still behoove you to not let me get within armsreach. As for my intelligence, it's usually not so much a matter of the fact that, yes, I have been immutably proven as possessing the greatest astutia out of our group. No, rather, it's that I actually pay close attention to my surroundings. I never let the others out of my sight if I can help it, and I never turn a blind eye to those things which seem out of place in even the most infinitesimal degree. I have to use these traits and skills to the greatest effect - I certainly don't have my army or my good looks to assist them anymore. If only my fellow overthrown warlords appreciated what I do for them. Well...It's not quite right to say that. I should say, I wish Pridak and the others appreciated my hard work as much as Carapar. How ironic that such a buffoon can even grasp my endeavours; all the same, I will not pretend that I am any less than grateful.

    ~ ~ ~

    Chap. 4, End
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Klak on Mon Jun 18, 2012 1:11 pm

    The last two are pretty good, and I'm glad you made one on my favorite Barakki: Ehlek (first Barakki set I got, incidentally).


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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Mon Jun 18, 2012 1:16 pm

    I'm very glad they were to your liking!

    Yes, it seemed that you had a keen liking of Ehlek, so I was looking forward to your thoughts on "Focus."

    Now, for our second-to-last chapter of this Barakki saga, and my personal favorite, along with Kalmah's.

    Let's go~

    ~ ~ ~

    Mantax
    Agnostic Front

    I don't know what I don't know. Anyone who tells you they know it all have completely and utterly deluded themselves. I also reserve my right to reclusiveness. I keep my secrets, and I expect my..."Comrades" to keep theirs. If you don't ask me questions, I won't have to deceive you. If you don't pry into matters that don't concern you, then may you live a long, prosperous life; out of my sight and far from my mind. Yet there are some secrets that must be uncovered - And keeping the secret of turning against our fallen alliance is a thing I will never abide by. I cannot and shall not allow a traitor to slink about and do as they please. So I shall dig for that one key to the puzzle, however long it should take me.

    ~ ~ ~

    Chap. 5, End.
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Klak on Mon Jun 18, 2012 1:31 pm

    You captured his character well in this one. Well done.


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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Mon Jun 18, 2012 1:44 pm

    Thank you so much.

    Now, we have reached the final Chapter in our saga.

    Do enjoy. ^u^

    ~ ~ ~

    Takadox
    Dark Side Of The Moon

    My name is Takadox, and I am a monster. I have done terrible things. This is nothing new for me - I am, by and large, a despicable beast. I do so enjoy the pain of others; there is nothing quite so wondrous as the screams of lamentation as my armies slaughter and maim their foes, the cries for mercy as my torturors exact their terrible expertise, the sobs of lovers who have been left alone in the world. All of these things are joyous to me, and even my fellow Barakki have always known I was the closest to evil. They never trusted me; that is something I commend them for, if nothing else at all. I have betrayed the closest thing I ever had to "friends" - I have sequestered myself into an existence where I cannot survive without backstabbing and double-crossing. I am no longer Takadox the conqueror, I am no longer fit to be counted among the Barakki. I am now simply Takadox. And it would be the latest in a grand procession of falsehoods were I to tell you that I regret it. I have never held compassion or camaraderie in my heart for those ingrates. I will not abide by Pridak's arrogant crowing, Kalmah's self-righteous dithering, Carapar's insurmountable idiocy, Ehlek's grating insistence of his brilliance, and above all, I shall no longer abide by Mantax and his hypocrisy. I am going to a place from whence I cannot return. Once they know the name of the traitor, there will be no place left safe in the Universe for me. I simply hope they are up to the task of defeating me - I was never exactly forthcoming with my abilities. Let us see who is truly the greatest of the Barakki. I eagerly await their retaliation.

    ~ ~ ~

    Chap. 6, End.

    ~ End of Act 1 ~
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Klak on Mon Jun 18, 2012 1:50 pm

    Excellent. Bloody excellent.


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    Zev the Reveler
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Mon Jun 18, 2012 2:00 pm

    I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

    I'm sure you know what this means~

    ^u^ ^u^ ^u^
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Yenot on Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:24 am

    Nice little succession of shorts there.
    May I assume Takadox will be showing his head in the RPG soon?
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    Zev the Reveler
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:28 am

    Thank you, Ynot!

    I'm afraid he will not be appearing in the RPG, inasmuch that I won't re-introduce him.

    However, while all good things must come to an end, that is only so that new and bountiful things may begin.

    Keep an eye on General Creativity, won't you?

    ^u^
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Srgt. Master on Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:29 am

    I really like that last one... >:D

    Can't wait to see some more!
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    Zev the Reveler
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:47 am

    Thank you, Sarge!

    I hope you like what I have in store for this epic.

    I feel thrilled~

    >u<
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    Re: Divers Down

    Post by Klak on Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:49 am

    You didn't post it in this topic? OC


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