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    Blackout and Company

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    Heat
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    Blackout and Company

    Post by Heat on Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:07 am

    Blackout and Company - Chapter One - Los Comunistas!

    Unseen narrator: Once upon a time, there was a mysterious planet. This planet was called Earth, and we all live on it, so it isn’t that mysterious. Anyway, many weird things happened on it. We shall now attempt to describe some of them.

    -----

    *a plane lands in an airport, and Blackout and Kopaka step out*

    Blackout: We’re finally in Argentina!
    Kopaka: Why are we in Argentina?
    Blackout: Because I say so.
    Kopaka: Well. Can't argue with that.

    *the two walk out of the airport, and catch a cab*

    Driver: Where are we going?
    Blackout: Are there any famous landmarks here?
    Driver: No.
    Blackout: Well, we're clearly not going to any of those then. Are there any infamous landmarks here?
    Driver: There IS the Total Wipeout course.
    Kopaka: We've been there already.
    Blackout: Now is that never speaking of it again?!
    Kopaka: .....No.
    Blackout: Precisely.

    *suddenly, a gunshot almost hits the cab*

    Driver: !Maldita sea! That'll be Los Comunistas again!
    Kopaka: What does that mean?
    Blackout: What, "!Maldita sea!", or "Los Comunistas"?
    Kopaka: Both.
    Driver: The first means "damn".
    Kopaka: And the second?
    Blackout: Kopaka, are you familiar with a man called Vladimir Lenin?
    Kopaka: Yes I am.
    Blackout: What is he known for?
    Kopaka: Well, he organized the Russian revolution of 1917, in which the Tsarist government was replaced by a government that was.....
    Blackout: Yes?
    Kopaka: Ah.
    Blackout: You're a moron if you needed to be told that. *gets out of the cab*
    Kopaka: Where did he go? *gets out of the cab too*

    *meanwhile, Blackout is being shot at by the Communists*

    Blackout: Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. *gets hit by a bullet and falls over*
    Kopaka: *takes out sword and charges at the Communists, but is then shot as well*

    *the two are surrounded by the Communists*

    Blackout: Hey, Kopaka?
    Kopaka: Yes?
    Blackout: For a second there, I thought we were in trouble.
    Kopaka: *facepalm*

    *suddenly, they hear more gunfire*

    Blackout: What, more Communists?

    *one of the Communists falls over, revealing Tom Cruise with an AK-47 behind him*

    Blackout: Oh great.
    Tom Cruise: What is it now?
    Blackout: STAY AWAY FROM ME SCIENTOLOGIST!!!!! *runs away*
    Tom Cruise: *looks at Kopaka* What's with him?
    Kopaka: It's a long story. Let's just say it involves L. Ron Hubbard-
    *Tom Cruise suddenly falls to his knees*
    Kopaka: Hm. Anyway, it involves L. Ron Hubbard *Tom Cruise falls to his knees again*, a yellow pencil, and a one-eyed alien.
    Tom Cruise: *gets up* Hm.
    Kopaka: So, why are you here, Mr. Cruise?
    Tom Cruise: Someone called me and told me I needed to come here and help bring down the local Communist Party.
    Blackout: *suddenly reappears holding a Desert Eagle pistol and a cricket bat* Let's do that then.
    Kopaka: But I have no good weapons.
    Blackout: Here. *throws Kopaka a taser*
    Kopaka: Why a taser?
    Blackout: I don't trust you with anything lethal.
    Kopaka: Ah.

    *they get back in the cab*

    Driver: Where would you like to go?
    Tom Cruise: The Communist Party HQ.
    Driver: Absolutely not! They will kill us all!
    *Blackout takes out his cricket bat*
    Driver: Ok. *drives to the HQ*

    *the cab drives between two buildings*

    *and on the roof of those two buildings, there are men dressed in red holding machine guns, and they start firing at the cab, which ends up crashing into a wall*

    *Blackout and Kopaka crawl out of the wreckage, and are surrounded by more Communists with machine guns*

    Kopaka: And for a second there, I thought we weren't in trouble. *is hit over the head by Blackout*

    *they are dragged into a red FSO Polonez*

    Communist Soldier: Drive, drive!

    *car fails to start*

    Driver: !Maldita sea! Not again!

    *A long time later*

    *the car finally arrives at the Communist HQ, and Blackout and Kopaka are dragged inside*

    Soldier: Comrade Eduardo, we have the capitalists.
    Eduardo: Excellent! Now, tell me, what were you doing here?
    Blackout: We flew here.
    Eduardo: Where did you come from?
    Kopaka: A place with no name.
    Eduardo: Ah. And where is this place with no name?
    Blackout: Somewhere where you will never find it, Communist!
    Eduardo: I see. Shoot them.

    *the guards aim their machine guns at Blackout and Kopaka, only to be shot themselves*

    *they fall over, revealing Tom Cruise with an AK-47 behind them*

    Kopaka: Tom!
    Blackout: I never thought I'd be glad to see a Scientologist with a machine gun, but I am!
    *Tom Cruise throws them their weapons*
    *some guards attacks them, but Kopaka stuns one with the taser, while Blackout shoots one and beats the other up with the cricket bat*
    *Tom Cruise puts his AK-47 to Eduardo's head*
    Tom Cruise: Run. Just run.
    *Eduardo does so*

    *A long time later*

    Kopaka: I'M MAKING A SMOOTHIE! WHY DOES EVERYONE QUESTION MY ACTIONS?!
    Onua: At least you are characterized as the smart one!
    Gali: OH, I THINK WE ALL KNOW WHO IS THE SMART ONE HERE!!
    Tahu: I LOVE TO SHOUT TOO!
    *silence*
    *laughter track*
    Blackout: -and that's why the Communist Party of Argentina is scared of Tom Cruise. *everyone stares at him*

    -----

    *credits start*

    Unseen narrator: That last part was stolen from Klak's comedy, The Toas. In fact, that part is why this comedy even exists. If you are from Argentina, a Communist, a Communist from Argentina, a Scientologist, or a Belgian rug maker, please write to us at crapfromeasilyoffendedpeople@madeupemailaddresses.net. Goodbye, and see you next time on Blackout and Company!


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    Kon
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    Re: Blackout and Company

    Post by Kon on Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:20 am

    HAHAHAHAHA

    I lol'ed at the references and in-jokes in there, and at Tom Cruise with his AK-47. I look forward to what will be explained next time!


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    Heat
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    Re: Blackout and Company

    Post by Heat on Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:23 am

    King of Nynrah wrote:I look forward to what will be explained next time!

    Whatever it is, there will be more Noodle Incidents mentioned. I have many ideas for those!


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    JS
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    Re: Blackout and Company

    Post by JS on Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:24 am

    Hmm...

    It's good, though pitifully short and not much happens. You could've chosen a better cast, but hey, you went with the safe option. I didn't think the tom cruise parts really fit. However, it was quite funny in parts (Mainly towards the beginning), and Blackout was a great character as usual. All in all, 3.75/5. Not your best work, but hey. Can't always be a winner.
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    Klak
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    Re: Blackout and Company

    Post by Klak on Thu Jul 28, 2011 9:46 am

    This was very funny. Nice way of characterizing Scientologists, and I love how you used my jokes (made 'em even funnier). Also, your Spanish was accurate. And, you were faithful to the Noodle incident. Keep it up!



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    Heat
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    Re: Blackout and Company

    Post by Heat on Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:32 pm

    Klak of Thursday wrote:Also, your Spanish was accurate.

    That's Google Translate's fault.


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