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    Living With The Angeloids

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    Zev the Reveler
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    Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Sat Jul 23, 2011 6:37 am

    ...Alright.

    I think I can get some mileage out of this one.

    This'll pretty much go on as long as I can drum up ideas on the concept.

    Here we go~

    ~ ~ ~

    NON-CANON
    Day One, First Part

    ~ ~ ~

    [ 1:00:00 AM ]

    Zev: ...Mmmph...

    *He wakes up to find he can't breath*

    *Opening his eyes, he turns his gaze up to see Ikaros staring down at him at an angle*

    *At this, he realizes why his mouth and nose are blocked by something so...Soft...*

    Zev: MMMMMRRRRRGGGGGGEROFF!! *Death roll*

    Ikaros: *Gets thrown off* ...But Master...Angeloids...Are supposed to protect their masters while they're asleep...

    Zev: Master? I'm not your master. You were freed - ... *Notices an ethereal chain connected to Ikaros's neck*

    *Following it with his eyes, he sees where the other end fades away - Into his wrist*

    Zev: ...Oh ###dammit. *Throws himself back into bed with a low wail*

    *However, he suddenly feels his wrist being tugged slightly, then up into the air*

    Zev: ... *Looks up hesitantly* ...Yare yare daze. *Scowls in despair*

    Ikaros: *Is trying to flutter out the door* ... *However, she's obviously connected to Zev*

    *Not to mention her face is starting to go flush due to breathing impairment*

    Zev: *Long-suffering sigh* Wait for me, you lovable dumbass. Don't throttle yourself.

    *He reluctantly gets out of bed, still shirtless, and follows Ikaros*

    --- --- ---

    [ 1:04:47 AM ]

    Ikaros: *Continues leading Zev, fluttering through the air*

    *Arms held out in front of her dramatically, she remains expressionless as ever*

    Zev: *Realizes with dread that there are immense clatterings in his kitchen*

    *When they reach it, Zev sees Nymph sitting at the table, staring down at a beaten cereal box, while Harpy is tending some kind of sizzling abomination at the stove*

    Harpy: *Can be seen to be wearing a semi-tight, sleeveless black t-shirt; wings and leg armor absent* You haven't lived~ 'til you've tried one of my~ omelettes~! *Haphazardly tosses a mess of savagely-chopped peppers into the skillet*

    Nymph: *Is in her normal casual wear* Zev-sama. Hey Zev-sama. What is..."Lucky Charms?" Is it tasty? *Bites down on the box's corner* ...Bleh. Tastes horrible.

    Zev: *Snatches the box from her* ... *In quick succession, gathers a bowl, spoon, and milk from the fridge* ... *Quickly has a bowl of Lucky Charms in front of Nymph and a spoon in her hands* ...I'm not quite as dumb as I seem, so you'd better not try and pretend that you don't know how to use a spoon in a bid to hold my hand.

    Nymph: ... *Huffs, digging into the cereal with a sour expression* ...A good sugar ratio. Thank you, Zev-sama. *Begins eating with relish*

    Harpy: Hey Zev-sama, where's the ketchup? *Bends over to go ratting through the fridge* Hmmm...Purple stuff...Orange juice...Where is it~?

    Zev: ...? *Looks over her way, before smacking his hand to cover his eyes with a splutter* Good Lord, Harpy! We try to be good, moral citizens here! Have the decency to wear pants in your casual clothes if you're going to wear lingeree with them!! *Snarl* And I don't even want to know where you got them from...

    Harpy: Here's the ketchup~! *Removes herself from the fridge* Oh, and I got them from your -

    Zev: *Eyes glow a blinding white as voice booms like thunder* I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW. *Begins quivering in rapidly built-up fury*

    Harpy: ...Fine. She told me not to tell you anyway. She knew you'd be embarrassed~ *Giggle* By the way, has anyone seen Astraea?

    Nymph: Oh, I remember. She went upstairs to take a bath. *Has poured herself another bowl, though she's almost completely finished*

    Zev: *Flinch* ...Did she go to the extra-large bathtub, by any chance...? *Face pales visibly*

    Nymph: Yeah. So? *Still eating, doesn't even look up*

    Zev: For having a supercomputer built into your brain, you can be SO STUPID, NYMPH!! *Dashes out at top speed*

    Ikaros: *Allows herself to be dragged after, face still expressionless*

    --- --- ---

    [ 1:09:29 AM ]

    Zev: *Dashes into the bathroom and lunges over to the side of the bathtub*

    *Even as Ikaros goes flying overhead only to be stopped by the ghostly chain in mid-air - Then righting herself with a fluttering of her wings - Zev hurriedly drags a figure out of the bathtub*

    Astraea: *Still fully-clothed, soaking wet, and shivering, eyes have gone a blank white* ...Ggggghhhhhk... *Wheeze*

    Zev: DON'T DIE ON ME, YOU IDIOT!! YOU STILL HAVE TO MAKE IT UNTIL A PERMANENT INTRODUCTION INTO THE RPG!! *Bends her over his knee, facedown*

    *He proceeds to slam his palm into the middle of her back, causing her to seize up*

    Zev: LIVE!!

    *BAP*

    Zev: LIVE!!

    *BAP*

    Zev: LIVE!!

    *BAP*

    Zev: LIVE, DAMN YOU!!

    *BAP BA-BAP BA-BAP BA-BAP*

    Astraea: Bueh. *Coughs up a trickle of bathwater, before seizing up again*

    *BAP*

    *Squeak!*

    Astraea: *Has violently coughed up a rubber ducky* BUEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHH. *Spits out what must be half of the entire bath's water*

    Zev: *Gently pats her back* ...It's okay...It's okay...It's okay...

    Astraea: *Shiver* *Shiver* ...Waaaaah... *Cries softly*

    * Note: Angeloids cannot swim at all.

    ** Note: Ikaros is the only Angeloid from those introduced thus far to have long-term capabilities for surviving without oxygen.

    *** Note: Astraea's intelligence approaches "terminally stupid" levels.


    --- --- ---

    [ 1:23:56 AM ]

    *The location is a small den*

    Astraea: *Is wrapped up in a blanket in a chair* ...Mmm...

    *She allows Ikaros to gently feed her pickled plums and rice porridge*

    Zev: ... *Sigh* Good thing I remembered mom's recipes for a cold... *Siiigh*

    Harpy: *Peeks in from a trapdoor* Speaking of Zev's mom~

    *HALF-COURT BASKET*

    Harpy: *Falls through to the floor within* ...You're mean today, Zev-sama... *Twitch* *Twitch*

    *She has a slightly-bleeding cut on her forehead from the random kettle that Zev threw*

    Nymph: *Peeks in after* Why are you feeding her a home remedy? She has self-repair systems.

    Zev: You know, I have plenty of forge tools in arm's reach. I wonder if my accuracy would improve over the kettle if I threw these tongs...

    Nymph: Point taken no need for throwing the tongs at me going to watch cartoons now is that okay with you that's okay with me so long seeya later. *Pops out again*

    *Light footsteps can be heard running away at top speed*

    Zev: I'm going back to bed... *Begins to walk away, before his wrist gets caught* ...Oh right. Dammit. *Goes to sit down nearby*

    *Turning on a television set, he flips through the channels until he finds some kind of anime*

    *In an instant, Nymph is sitting beside him with a bowl of caramel popcorn*

    * Note: Nymph has fine-tuned her ears to pick up the frequency of a television set being turned on from up to a kilometer away.

    Zev: ... *Siiigh* ...So.

    Nymph: *Munch* *Munch* Yep.

    Zev: ...Mmmm-hm.

    Nymph: *Munch* *Munch* *Munch* You said it.

    Zev: ...Give me some of that damn popcorn.

    Nymph: What do we say when we want something?

    Zev: That enchanted girdle that Lisa Lisa gave me for misbehaving Angeloids is in this room.

    Nymph: ...Improvised, but that works too. *Eyes briefly glow aquamarine*

    *Another bowl of popcorn appears in Zev's lap*

    Zev: Thank you very much. *Begins eating*

    Nymph: *Goes back to eating as well*

    Ikaros: *Continues feeding Astraea*

    Astraea: *Quivers pitifully*

    ~ ~ ~

    To Be Continued~
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    Kon
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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Kon on Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:27 am

    Very good Zev! I loled when Zev was resusitating Astraea and shouting about the RPG. Well done!


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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Klak on Mon Jul 25, 2011 10:25 am

    This is hilarious. I loved the part when Zev was resuscitating Astraea, and when he wanted the popcorn. Keep it up, Zev!


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    Zev the Reveler
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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Tue Jul 26, 2011 4:58 am

    B'waw.

    Thank you both for the reviews~

    even though i practically begged for them

    Onto the next chapter~

    ~ ~ ~

    Day One, Middle Part 1

    ~ ~ ~

    [ 2:04:57 AM ]

    Zev: Mmm... *Wakes up slowly*

    *Finding himself in a tangle of limbs, he tries to sort things out*

    *With an assessment of his surroundings, Zev finds Ikaros hugging him around his chest from the side; Nymph half-splaid over his abdomen; Harpy clinging to his left leg; and Astraea nuzzling his right arm*

    Zev: *Chuckles softly, making sure not to wake anyone up*

    *A few moments are spent relishing the sure-to-be-brief moment of calm*

    Zev: ... *Thinking* I really hope I don't need a piss soon.

    *He slowly drifts off to sleep again*

    --- --- ---

    [ 3:19:44 AM ]

    Zev: *Has made it to a bathroom*

    *After inspecting his reflection and splashing his face, he begins brushing his teeth*

    Zev: ...? *Notices a slight resistance on his wrist while brushing* ... *Simply brushes with more force and ignores the strange feeling*

    *However, once he's rinsed and spit, Zev realizes why his wrist was being tugged*

    Zev: ... *Cautiously steps back into the hallway* Um...Yeah...Sorry about that...

    Ikaros: ... *Still pulls on the chain weakly; obviously dazed, seeing how she wobbles in the air* ...

    Zev: Um...Uh...Yeah...Can you try to walk on the floor for a while? No flight attempts?

    Ikaros: ... *Alights on her feet with a bit of a stumble* ...Yes, Zev-sama...

    Zev: ...Another thing...Could you stop calling me that? It feels a bit uncomfortable...

    Ikaros: ... *Stares blankly* ... *Tilts her head to the left in confusion* ...?

    Zev: ...Nevermind. Let's just go check the mail. *Walks away*

    Ikaros: ...Yes, Zev-sama... *Follows after on foot*

    *She has to lean on the wall for support*

    --- --- ---

    [ 3:47:03 AM ]

    *The other Angeloids have gathered in the apparent living room*

    *Faint snores can be heard throughout the room and a bit into the halls beyond*

    Harpy: ... *Lays splaid peacefully on the couch, limbs wildly akimbo, deep asleep and ignorant of her surroundings* ...Mmmmm...Yes...I'd love...A milk bath...You're...Too...Too generous~

    *All the while, little peanuts arc through the air every few seconds and bounce off of her face*

    Astraea: *Holding an entire bowl of peanuts* ...Heh heh. *Tosses another peanut, aiming for Harpy's mouth* Heh heh. *Tosses another* Heh heh heh. *Keeps tossing them at Harpy*

    Nymph: *Playing Pokemon Black on what looks like a DS* ...She's gonna be mad as a hornet the second you hit on-target. *Keeps right on playing*

    Astraea: ... *Goes to throw yet another peanut, but hesitates* ... *Makes a whining noise, but puts the bowl aside nonetheless* What'cha doin', Nymph~?

    Nymph: Well, I'm on Victory Road, and I'm about ready to take on the Elite Four. I just need to have a Psychic-Type I can really depend on, and I'm trying to be mindful of effort values.

    Astraea: *Head bobs slightly* O-oh...That's cool...Wh...What are effort values...?

    Nymph: Close to every or perhaps every Pokemon has its own effort values - That being what kind of boost it gives to stats if it's the last Pokemon your own Pokemon defeats before a level-up. Using them to one's advantage is very important for training strong Pokemon.

    Astraea: *Face begins to go red* Ah...I...I see...Kind of... *Sways left and right slightly*

    Nymph: *Goes right on* In this case here, the Boldore have been very useful for an all-around stat increase, but I'm counting on the Heatmor and a bit of strategical battles for raising my Klinklang's Special Attack. With a decidedly higher Special Attack, my Klinklang will be much more effective. Or so I hope.

    Astraea: *Spiral-eyes* I, I, I, I...That's...That's...Really, really cool... *Turns to the left* Just...Just let me...Lay down... *Plops onto her back*

    Nymph: *Keeps going* It has Shift Gear and Gear Grind to complement its high Attack, but if I can take advantage of the right effort values, then it'll be much better at using Flash Cannon and Discharge. Then, I can focus on training my Beheeyem, which has a deplorable Speed, but fills my needs for a Psychic-Type well enough. Plus, I still really need to improve my Mienshao's Special Defense, and I want to somewhat improve my Hydreigon's Special Attack, and -

    *Ssssssssshhhhh...*

    Astraea: *Still laid down, smoke drifts lazily from her lips* ... *Mind has been so overtaxed by Nymph's talking that she's just passed out on the floor*

    *Meanwhile, Nymph continues playing her game with a little smirk on her face*

    Nymph: The thing is, she's just a fun and easy target.

    *Her playtime goes on uninterrupted*

    --- --- ---

    [ 3:56:02 AM ]

    *Outside, the ground is blanketed with snow*

    *As well, it is at a part of night where no stars or moon can be seen*

    Zev: *Dressed in winter clothing, slowly makes his way beside the front path*

    Ikaros: *Also in winter clothes, lets herself be dragged over the frozen pavement on her bottom*

    Zev: *Finally works his way to a mailbox beside a frozen road, out of which he negotiates a parcel with one hand* Good. About time this delivery made it here.

    *As he turns to go back, however, he gives a blank stare at Ikaros; who is still sitting on the frozen path up to the road*

    Ikaros: ... *Just sits there, staring down at the ground between her extended feet with an equally blank look on her face* ...

    Zev: Say, Ikaros...You know, you could just fly over the ice that you fell down on.

    Ikaros: ...? *Turns slightly to stare up at him with her sad red eyes* ...

    Zev: It's kind of a pain to drag you around. You're not heavy, just not light as a feather, either.

    Ikaros: ... *Continues staring up at him, looking very perplexed by something* ...

    Zev: Plus, I'm sure it can't be comfortable sitting on ice like that. Especially if you don't really have to do so.

    Ikaros: ... *Flutters her wings experimentally* ...I can fly over the ice, Zev-sama...?

    Zev: ...Did it never occur to you that you could do that? *Narrows eyes*

    Ikaros: ... *Goes silent for a few moments, still fluttering her wings* ...

    Zev: ... *Keeps his gaze on her, not letting up* ...?

    Ikaros: ...You told me not to fly, Zev-sama...

    Zev: Only when I need to stand still, dammit. Not when we're both moving freely.

    Ikaros: ... *Whirr* Update Protocols. [Prohibition on Flight] is to be changed: [Prohibition of Flight while Master Requires a Fixed Position] ... ... ... *Beep!* Update complete.

    *Wings expanding to a larger size, Ikaros begins flying a bit off of the ground*

    Zev: I swear... *Grumble* *Grumble* ...Always contradicting themselves... *Grumble* ...

    *Nonetheless, he leads her inside - Careful to guide her below the doorframe*

    Zev: ...We're going to give Vi a call. *Heads for his room*

    Ikaros: *Flutters after, arms held out before her again*

    Zev: ... *Twitches slightly* ...Calm...Calm...

    ~ ~ ~

    To Be Continued~
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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Heat on Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:05 am

    Didn't you already post that chapter? I swear I've already read it.

    It's quite good, too.


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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Tue Jul 26, 2011 5:06 am

    Oh, I split some parts off of the first chapter.

    So that I'd have more material for later chapters. It seemed kinda wasteful to post all of that in one go.

    Plus, I tried to divide them up so that the whole thing has a better flow.

    ...That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Yenot on Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:23 am

    Quite comical, I must say.
    Still have a couple comics worth of Hahas to go though
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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Tue Jul 26, 2011 7:25 am

    Thankshya, Ynot.

    Perhaps the next chapter will exhaust your hahas.

    Should I post it...?
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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:31 pm

    Years spent in torment
    Buried in a nameless grave!!
    Now he has risen
    Miracles would have to save!!

    And when he's found
    Who he's looking for
    Listen in awe and you'll hear him
    Bark at the Moon!!


    ~ ~ ~

    Day One, Middle Part 2

    [ 4:07:33 AM ]

    *Zev has dragged Ikaros to his bedroom*

    *Once Vi's connection comes through, Zev glares flatly at her*

    Vi: ...What? What big bug crawled up your --- this morning?

    Zev: Not a bug in my ---, but angels in my house. *Displays right wrist with an accusatory glare*

    Ikaros: ... *Flutters into view, flopping down on the bed* ... *Wiggles arms and legs slightly* ...

    Vi: ...Oooh. That. Well...It's a funny situation we've found ourselves in.

    Zev: *Holds ribs, smiling wide* Aha. Aha. My sides. So hilarious. *Snarls* Explain to me NOW Lieutenant Viriathus.

    Vi: Watch your tone, Scooter. *Her ears twitch angrily* If you must know, a trasnport drone crashed near your little retreat. The Angeloids with you just made it there first.

    Zev: ...First...? Oh dear God, NOT EPSILON. I'd live with Zeta, but Epsilon...Never, EVER AGAIN.

    Vi: Cool it. The other two are Vanth and Galestorm. Knowing Galestorm, she probably decided to go ahead by herself. Once Vanth gets there, have her lead you to Galestorm before she freezes her narrow backside off.

    Zev: ...Fine. Anything else you neglected to inform me of earlier?

    Vi: ...Yeeeah. Nymph's been having some..."Behavioral Issues." Dunno if you've noticed.

    Zev: I noticed. *Jolts* I sense a fanservice moment. *Stomps out* Not. In. My. Vacation House.

    Ikaros: *Flits after him, arms held out before herself*

    ~ ~ ~

    [ 4:13:08 AM ]

    Nymph: *Has a pair of scissors*

    *Grinning malevolently, she tucks the tips up under the hem of Astraea's top*

    Nymph: ...We'll see how Zev likes walking in on this little -

    Zev: SURPRISE YOU SAY!!? *Dynamic Entry*

    Nymph: *Drops the scissors, holding onto her nose* Awch...Awch...Huh?

    Zev: *Seething angrily, looms above her*

    Nymph: Um - Eep. *Finds herself dragged by the wrist into a side-room*

    Ikaros: ... *Taps back-first against the slammed door* ...

    Harpy: *Abruptly awoken, puts her catlike ear-structures to the door* ...? *Shivers, moving away*

    Astraea: *Wakes up, yawning* Whazzit? Whazzagoinon? *Notices the scissors beside her*

    Harpy: Gimme those. *Snatches them up* Looks like Nymph's getting hers for her b!tchy little attitude.

    Astraea: Huh? What's Zev doing? Is he yelling at her? Reprogramming her?

    Harpy: ... *Leans in, whispering into Astraea's ear* ... *Nods at Astraea's blush* ...And it did not sound like the "kinky fun timez"-kind. It sounded like the "this hurts me more than it hurts you my daughter"-kind.

    *After several minutes, the door opens quietly*

    Nymph: *Walks out with an odd gait, legs quivering* ... *Glomps Astraea* I'm so sorry...

    Harpy: ...Uh...Zev-sama? Why is Nymph now over her little episode because of...You know?

    Zev: Programming bug because of the cold. Physical stress and a little electric shock.

    Harpy: ...And because that's what you'd do if I did that to Astraea?

    Zev: Oooh no, threefold as bad for you, love.

    Harpy: ... *Ears fold down* ...You're scary...

    Zev: Only when you girls make me. Bring it in.

    *The Angeloids take the chance for a group hug*

    *DING-DONG*

    Zev: WHO'S THAT AT THE DOOR!!?

    *Two people in a horse costume come running in*

    Zev: IT'S SECRETARIAT!!

    *Himself, Harpy, Astraea, and Nymph dance to the bouncy tune that kicks up*

    Ikaros: *Flutters in circle above, confused*

    *The music continues through the dark morning*

    *Up next comes Bat Out Of Hell*

    ~ ~ ~

    Author's Notes: Had to come up with something.

    Since everything I had typed up to and past this point are on my other laptop. Which may be Put On A Bus permanently.

    Buuut at least we got to have a dance party with Secretariat.

    And isn't that what friendship and family are all about?

    Yes. Yes. It. Is.

    Like A Bat Back Out Of Hell!!

    /electric guitar riff

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    Re: Living With The Angeloids

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