*She abruptly looks up and smiles*
Namah: Bonjour. Didn't hear you come in. Welcome to Ask Namah.
Question One: Who would win in a fight? Ash from Pokemon, or Ash from the Evil Dead Movies?
Namah: That's a very good question. You know, I'd really have to go with Ash from Pokemon. Because Ash fights dirty. Plus, Ash from the Evil Dead movies has seen plenty of undead monstrosities, but he's never seen a Pokemon. I'm sure he'd be just as confused as many of you out there.
Namah: Thus, Ash from Pokemon would run up and kick Ash from the Evil Dead movies in the testicles. Then, Pikachu would utterly roast Ash from the Evil Dead movies with his Satanic powers. Because I'm not sure if many of you know this, but Pokemon are of the Devil.
Namah: Think about it. Fire-breathers? Lightning-making mice? Ghosts made of noxious gases? Shark torpedoes? Living garbage monsters? How can they be the product of any human-loving God? It is my long-held belief that Pokemon will not stop until we are all turned inside-out dead.
Question Two: Where's the beef?
Namah: That's a very good question. ... Actually, no it isn't. Just go to that damned fast food joint that ran those commercials. Don't bug me about where to find your food. At least, not until we've had our first date. *Wink* Yes.
Question Three: If Jack has two more pebbles than Sally, and Sally has three more pebbles than Billy, and Billy has two pebbles, how many pebbles does Jack have?
Namah: First of all, anyone who's graduated Elementary School should know it's seven pebbles. That's just basic addition. Look, the monkey running this show is going to be learning about imaginary numbers next year, and you bug me with an addition problem. Shame on you.
Namah: Second, and much more importantly, who cares how many pebbles they have? They're f@%king pebbles. You can't even eat them like an apple. Are you being taught how to assemble a pebble collection for profit? Are Jack, Sally, and Billy some kind of losers who just trade pebbles like it's a game?
Namah: Oooh, oooh, lemme guess how this goes down. "I summon the Smooth Round Blue Pebble!" "Aha, you've activated my Bumpy Yellow-Gray Pebble!" "Rrrgh, I have to hold out until I can summon my Shiny Pointy Black Pebble...!" It makes me glad I spend so much time on the internet.
Namah: I'll admit. Most of the internet is pornography. But it gives people boundless information! It allows cultures to link up across the globe! It allows us to watch hentai without being persecuted as a depraved freak! Though, you have to be careful - The internet can waste your life away.
Namah: ... ... ...
Namah: What was the question again? Whatever.
*She proceeds to spin her pipe around on top of her index fingertip*
Question Four: Why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways?
Namah: Because you touch yourself at night.
*She just smiles to the camera*
Question Five: Soup or salad?
Namah: Did you say Super Salad? He's my favorite super hero vegetable dish! He and his stalwart companion Croutant Kid, battling the evils of the Fast Food Shadows! Plus, I just plain like salads. They can be quite delicious.
Namah: This is Namah Calah saying, "There's no such thing as a stupid question until you ask it."
*She goes back to her book*
~ ~ ~
Whaddyou guys think? Should I continue it?
Also, if you want, you guys can send questions for the next episode. No more than two per member, though.
I'm not sure whether this will work...Hmmm...Please give your opinions.
Credit to Ask ThatGuyWithTheGlasses