BZPB

A Free-for-All Collaborative Fiction/RPG Forum with a Long-Lived Community!

View the BZPB Wiki for more information about the site and the BZPB Multiverse.


    Comedy Practice

    Share
    avatar
    Zev the Reveler
    Gracious Double-Crosser

    Posts : 1595
    Coins : 4570
    Reputation : 1116
    Join date : 2010-12-25
    Location : Land of the Free, Home of the Whopper

    Comedy Practice

    Post by Zev the Reveler on Sun Apr 24, 2011 8:24 am

    Check.

    Check check.

    One two, one two, one two.

    Yeah.

    So, I decided that I'll use this as a testbed, of sorts.

    A place to keep in practice with my comedy writing.

    I'd like to know what y'all think.

    Test One:

    ~ ~ ~

    *On a small planet, the Bebop II has landed*

    Shroom: *Is sleeping in his bed, beneath a wrap-around window*

    *Suddenly, a shuffling can be heard in bed*

    Ryoko: Hey, Shroom~ I was cold, so I just decided to get in bed with you~

    Shroom: ... *Yawn* Why are you naked, Ryoko?

    Ryoko: Um, well, you know, I was hot, and...

    Shroom: You just said you were cold.

    Ryoko: ... *Hic* ... *Disappears into the covers again* ...

    Shroom: *Gets out of bed, moving to window*

    *Outside, in the snow, a limping Vi is chasing Akira-chan [Lucky / Zevvy Channel]*

    Vi: Get back here, you little psycho-b!tch!!

    Akira: Vi-san~! Akira-chan already said she was sowwy~!

    Shroom: ... *Walks away from window, shaking head* ...

    ...

    *Down in the living room*

    Shroom: *Walks in, scratching head*

    Ryoko: *Now clothed, is curled up on the couch* I'm so cold~ We should cuddle to warm up, Shroom! *Hic*

    Shroom: ...Seriously, it's starting to get a little creepy, Ryoko.

    Ryoko: Please, Shroom~! I need you~ *Whisper* Inside me.

    Shroom: ... *Edges away from her slowly* ...

    Zev: *Looks out from a window in kitchen* Hey, Shroom, c'mere! I wanna show you my new utensil! *Husky voice* It's called the Spank-ula~

    Shroom: That's it, I'm out!! *Dashes off*

    *Tmp tmp tmp tmp tmp*

    *VRRRSSSHHH*

    Zev: CRAP!! He took the Swordfish IV!!

    ...

    *Later, outside*

    Zev: *Walks up to Shroom* Where's my ship, dammit!?

    Shroom: Vi has it. That's what you get for acting weird.

    Zev: SCREW IT, I can fly on my own!! *Opens umbrella and walks off*

    Akira: *Sidles up to Shroom* What's he trying to do~?

    Shroom: *Snorts* Fly.

    *Before a huge mountain*

    *The wind still howls, carrying multitudes of snowflakes*

    Zev: *Goes flying by on umbrella, humming*

    ...

    Shroom: *Walks into an old shrine* Zev? Zev?

    *A figure can be seen lying prone on the floor nearby*

    Shroom: Oh, God...! *Rushes over* Zev, please, don't be dead...

    *The shape reminds in place; unmoving...*

    Shroom: ...Ah well. Guess he died.

    KRASH!!

    *A sliding door comes spinning out, colliding with Shroom*

    Zev: *Leaps out carrying a bokken* I WILL NEVER DIE!!

    *He proceeds to repeatedly attack Shroom*

    Shroom: *Skillfully dodges over and over again*

    Zev: Hey hey stop it hey stop it lemme hit you dammit!!

    Shroom: *Dodges a stab and grabs the bokken* Heh.

    Zev: *Lets go, before putting Shroom in a head lock and bringing a dagger-length bokken to his throat* What's this I have?

    *He releases Shroom, showing a wallet in his free hand*

    Shroom: C'mon, man, that's my last twenty bucks!

    Zev: Too bad so sad. *Walks off*

    Shroom: *Sighs and follows*

    DarkBeast
    Banned!
    Banned!

    Posts : 9
    Coins : 2321
    Reputation : 0
    Join date : 2011-03-29

    Re: Comedy Practice

    Post by DarkBeast on Fri Apr 29, 2011 7:01 am

    The vulgarity and obscenity of this written piece makes it strangely amusing.

      Current date/time is Wed Jul 26, 2017 4:33 am